The Telltale Head
Life on the Fast Lane
Homer's Night Out
(Bart and Lisa object about which birthday present Marge likes better.)
Bart: She likes mine better.
Lisa: Oh yeah? Then how come she's not wearing any of your perfume?
Bart: Oh yeah, Hey mom? Why aren't you wearing any of the perfume?
Marge: Erm, I was saving it... for a special occasion.
Bart: What the hell are you talkin' about? There's gallons of it!
Marge: Well, this day is already so special, that if we made it any more special, we might end up making it less special.
Bart: Ahh, gotcha. Told you she likes mine better.
Lisa: Oh, brother.

Homer: Wait until she sees my birthday present.
[Motions for the waiters to sing while he gives Marge her present. Near to the end, the bottom of the present gives way and a bowling ball falls on her birthday cake. Everyone is surprised except Patty and Selma who realized that Homer has been thoughtless as usual and that gift offends Marge.]
Homer: Don't worry, this frosting will come right off.
[Homer is looking at the ball, while Marge is furious with him for getting her another thoughtless gift.]
Homer: Beauty, isn't she?
Marge: Well, it's hard for me to judge, Since I never bowled in my life!
Homer: Well, if you don't want it, I know someone who does.
[ Marge huffs out a surviving candle, extremely outraged with Homer once again for ruining her birthday.]

Jacques: It is nice to meet you, Homer.
Marge: Oh, no, no. Homer's my ball's name. I'm Marge.
Jacques: Your fingers are so slender, so feminine. They're far too tapered for the ball you're using. You need something lighter. More delicate. Here. Use my ball.
Marge: No. No, thank you, Mr., um, Brunswick.
Jacques: Call me Jacques.

(Marge bowls a strike with Jacques' instruction.)
Marge: You're a very good teacher.
Jacques: Yes, I am a very good teacher, and I can teach you everything. I can tell you what the little arrows on the wood floor mean, which frame is the beer frame. I bet you don't know how to make a five-seven-ten split. Do you Marge?
Marge: Hmmm, no.
Jacques: Well, first of all, you yell, "The eight-pin is a cop!"

Jacques: Laugh, Marge, laugh out loud; you'll lose weight.

Shorts: Season 3 Season 1 Quotes Season 2
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire

Bart the GeniusHomer's OdysseyThere's No Disgrace Like HomeBart the GeneralMoaning LisaThe Call of the SimpsonsThe Telltale HeadLife on the Fast LaneHomer's Night OutThe Crepes of WrathKrusty Gets BustedSome Enchanted Evening