Abe: Oh that's the best steak I ever breathed.I'm full.
Big Birthday CEO: You have meddled with the primal forces of nurture, Mr. Simpson, and I won't have it!! Do you think you just stopped a few lavish parties? Oh, no, sir. There is simply one endless birthday celebration, where everyone gets a gift bag and no parents gets off easy!! Do you think this country makes cars anymore? Do you think we smelt steel? No. The only thing we do is throw elaborate children's cotillions with enormous inedible cakes out from whence Yale graduates pop! (scene cuts to a birthday, where the Ninja Mutant Turtles jump from inside a cake)
Big Birthday CEO: (back to The Simpsons house) Mr. Simpson, the very fabric of our existence is birthdays! The quarks and bosons of your soul? Birthdays! You have tried to unwind the world, and you will atone!!
Big Birthday CEO: You will be sorry. We are officially blacklisting you, my friend. Your children will never have a balloon animal maker or customized cake again!!
Bart and Lisa: (gasps) Nooo!!!
Bart: I don't wanna live. (points his slingshot to his face)
Homer: Hot their birthdays! Take easter! Easter is nothing!
Marge: (to Bart and Lisa) Geez, kids. I guess you've had your last birthday. You're gonna stay your current ages for the rest of your lives.
Homer: Please. I'll do anything.
Big Birthday CEO: All right. The next birthday that comes up in this town is, uh, Rod Flanders, and you have to throw him a party.
Homer: (groans, to Bart and Lisa) How bad do you kids want birthdays?
Bart: How bad do you want to sleep in Saturday? (bang two pans)
Homer: Hey, hey, hey, I was just kidding around. You know that. I was just... You have a deal.
Lisa: (to one of the war veterans) Why are planes and boats always woman?
Veteran: Because they require a lot of upkeep and a firm hand at the controls.
Lisa: I knew there'd be a sexiest joke behind it. I knew it!!