The Itchy & Scratchy Theme Song is the theme song to the cartoon series Itchy & Scratchy, first heard in the episode Krusty Gets Busted. There were several different versions of the theme song. The first one is sung by studio singers whose voices were sped up to make it sound more cartoony. The second version was heard in the aforementioned "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge" episode when Marge demanded that the violence be toned down. The third version was a ballad-like end credits version of the song with the lyrics re-written in past tense heard in The Front. The fourth version was heard when Poochie was briefly added to the show in the episode The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show.

The first and third versions can be heard on Songs in the Key of Springfield. The fourth version can be heard on the album Go Simpsonic with The Simpsons. The original versions were written by Simpsons co-developer Sam Simon. The final version's additional lyrics were written by David S. Cohen.

Itchy & Scratchy Main Title

They fight, they bite,
They bite and fight and bite,
Fight fight fight, bite bite bite,
The Itchy & Scratchy Show!

Itchy & Scratchy Main Title (non-violent version)

They love, they share,
They share and love and share,
Love love love, share share share,
The Itchy & Scratchy Show!

Itchy & Scratchy End Title

They fought and bit,
They fought and fought and bit,
Fought fought fought, bit bit bit,
It was The Itchy & Scratchy Show.

The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show Main Title

They fight and bite, (and bark!)
They fight and fight and bite, (and bark!)
Fight bite bark, (woof woof woof!)
The Itchy & Scratchy...& Poochie Show!

Itchy & Scratchy Main Title (Version with majestic fanfare)

Used in the episode "Holidays of Future Passed"

They fight, they fight!
They fight and fight!
The Itchy & Scratchy, Itchy & Scratchy Show!
Fight, fight! Fight!

The Itchem & Scratchem Blow (Jamaican version)

Used in the episode "Yellow Subterfuge"

They smoke
They toke
They smoke and toke and smoke (Ha!)
Smoke, smoke, smoke, toke, toke, toke
The Itchem & Scratchem Blow