|I Married Marge||
- Homer: 1980 happened before you kids were born, and there was a lot going on. The hits of Supertramp, the dark horse presidential candidacy of John Anderson; it was an exciting time to be young.
- Flashback to 1980. "The Logical Song" by Supertramp plays in the background. Homer is shown working at one of his old jobs on Sir Putt-a-Lot's Miniature Golf Course. Homer's boss opens up a door to the miniature windmill.
- Homer's Boss: Whoa Homer! Not so fast!
- Homer: Sorry, sir. How about this?
- Homer slows down his turning the windmill blades.
- Homer's Boss: Now you are getting it! Good work! Keep it up Homer, and you may one day be the man who hands the customers their putters at the first hole.
- Homer: Nice.
- Cut to present. Homer sees a distracted Bart.
- Homer: BART! I am trying to tell a bit of family history! May I have some attention?
- Bart: Yeah, yeah. You had a hard time turning blades but now you don't, end of story.
- Lisa: Don't blame us, our generation watches an appalling amount of TV.
- Homer is on a date with Marge. They have just seen "Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back". The exit the first show as the infamous "Imperial March" is playing in the background. Customers are in line for the second show of the evening.
- Homer: Wow! Who would have ever guessed Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father?
- The costumers groan and complain.
- Moviegoer: Oh thanks a lot, Mr. Blow-the-picture-for-me!
- After seeing "The Empire Strikes Back" Homer takes Marge to his workplace, where they sneak inside the miniature castle and watch golf balls travel down ramps.
- Homer: Someday I'll buy you a real castle.
- Marge: Oh Homer, you don't have to do that!
- Homer: Whew, that's a relief!}}
- Marge: Homer, I think it's the champale talking, but I think you're pretty sexy.
- Romantic music plays as Homer and Marge make love, which is not seen by the audience. On the miniature golf course, a customer hits a golf ball into a hard-to-hit hole that says "FREE GAME", causing the castle to light up the night.
- Abraham: Son, you got her pregnant, so you have to marry her!
- Homer: I do?
- Abraham: Yes! But look at it this way. Think of all the fish in the sea, but most men struggle for years to reel one in. In your case, the fish jumped right in your boat!
- Marge: Homer, I've been thinking... if the baby's a boy, what do you think of the name, Larry?
- Homer: Marge, we can't do that! All the kids'll call him Larry Fairy!
- Marge: Well, how 'bout Louie?
- Homer: They'll call him Screwy Louie!
- Marge: Bob?
- Homer: Slob.
- Marge: Luke?
- Homer: Puke.
- Marge: Marcus?
- Homer: Mucus.
- Marge: What about Bart?
- Homer: Let's see.. Bart, Cart, Dart, Eart... nope can't see any problem with that!
- Man: Do you, Marjorie Bouvier take Homer J. Simpson to be your lawful wedded husband?
- Marge: I do.
- Man: Homer, same question, names reversed.
- Homer: I do.
- Man: Then, by the power vested in me by the state gaming commission, I pronounce you man and wife. (spares Homer casino chips) Here's ten dollars worth of chips. You may kiss the bride.
- Homer: Hey Marge, look at this! It is a baby monitor so you can hear the baby no matter where you are in the house. Like this! (using the baby monitor) Baby to Marge, Baby to Marge! Wah Wah! (laughs)
- Homer is making application to the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. He is near a reception with two other applicants. A younger Smithers does the interviews.
- Smithers: We have two openings, which means one of you will be rejected from this job...but it ain't gonna be my old frat buddy Lou Johnston!
- Smithers greets Man #1 and they do a secret handshake.
- Man #1: Ah Waylon! Still the same guy from Alpha Beta!
- Man #2: Hey! I am a member of the University of Alabama chapter!
- Smithers and two men proceed towards the board room arm-in-arm chanting their frat anthem. Homer tries mimicking their fraternity song, but he knows the odds are stacked against him.
- Bart finds out Marge may be pregnant.
- Bart: You're a machine, Homer!
- Homer: Step aside. I'll deliver this baby!
- Dr. Hibbert: Oh why don't you let me handle it, Homer?
- Homer: (glares at Dr. Hibbert) A college boy, eh?
- Homer: (finding out Bart is born) Daddy's little angel. (it turns out Bart has a cigarette lighter lighting Homer's tie on fire and dips the tie in the water) Why you little--! He did that on purpose!
- Marge: How could he? He's only 10 minutes old!