|How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?||
- Homer: (chasing Santa's Little Helper around the backyard) Stupid dog! Let go of that delicious bird!
- Lisa: Looks like you're going to have to take care of it, Bart.
- Bart: Me? What in my long, sad history with frogs makes you think I can take care of a bird?
- Bart: Go ahead, make fun of me. I lost my heart to a bird.
- Nelson: (unenthusiastic) Haw-haw.
- Bart: Man, you are not into that. What's wrong?
- Nelson: My mom ran away with my birthday clown.
- Moe: Have you ever thought of racing that bird?
- Homer: You can bet on pigeons?
- Moe: Hey, if it moves you can bet on it.
- Bart: What about the Detroit Lions?
- Moe: Hey, lay off Detroit. Them people is going through Mad Max times.
- Bart: I don't know. This coop looks a little flimsy.
- Homer: Flimsy, eh? This gentle pat says different.
- (Homer pats coop; the staples pop off and the frame collapses; the chicken wire rolls up back into the box and the staples fall in place to close it)
- Homer: D'oh!
- Homer: Me, the patriarch of a pigeon-racing dynasty.
- (Thought bubble shows Homer with trophy; Danica Patrick appears)
- Danica Patrick: Congratulations, Homer.
- Homer: Danica Patrick in my thoughts?
- Danica Patrick: That's right, Homer. I'm contractually obligated by my sponsors to appear in random fan's fantasies. Better not tell Marge about it.
- Marge: You brickyard bimbo!
- (They fight; the thought bubble fades)
- Homer: I ended that a little too soon.
- (Thought bubble reappears with Danica and Marge beating up Homer)
- Homer: What they don't suspect is that I'm into this.
- Bart: Why are we taking 'Git' with us? And this time I don't mean Lisa.
- Lisa: I'ts amazing how I can pity you and hate you at the same time. I bet there's a German word for it.
- Edna Krabappel: I won't ask who sent the message if I can use the pigeon to send an message of my own.
- Bart: As long as we're not learning.
- Edna Krabappel: Deal.
- Mr. Burns: (reads note from pigeon) "Do the ballet dance while wearing no clothes." Bad grammar. Good advice.
- Nelson: What do you think, Mom?
- Mrs. Muntz: Why don't you ask your new father?
- (Birthday clown honks horn)
- Nelson: You haven't earned the right to call me that!
- Marge: A doctor who treats kids and pets?
- Dr. Thurmond: Hey, in this economy I'll even remove tattoos.
- Homer: Can you remove my tramp stamp? I got the idea from watching a show where people regret these.
- Homer: Listen to the man, Marge. He pays Bart's salary.
- Marge: No, he doesn't.
- Homer: Why don't you ever support my gibberish? I'd do it if you were stupid.
- Pigeon Owner: He's a homing pigeon. He comes home. Unless you wanna spring for a limo.
- Nelson: This funeral just got depressing
- Martin: Let's lighten up the mood, boys! (Martin, Milhouse, Database and Nelson sing Put on a Happy Face)
- Bart: Thanks. That song does make me feel a little better.
- Martin: It's from Bye Bye Birdie (Bart starts crying and runs back up to the house)
- Homer: Hmm... backyard, backyard, toilet, ocean, backyard, don't know, Flanders' mailbox, Lenny's freezer, tyre fire...
|◄ Season 21||Season 22 Quotes||Season 23 ►|
|Elementary School Musical • Loan-a Lisa • MoneyBART • Treehouse of Horror XXI • Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life • The Fool Monty • How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window? • The Fight Before Christmas • Donnie Fatso • Moms I'd Like to Forget • Flaming Moe • Homer the Father • The Blue and the Gray • Angry Dad: The Movie • The Scorpion's Tale • A Midsummer's Nice Dream • Love is a Many Strangled Thing • The Great Simpsina • The Real Housewives of Fat Tony • Homer Scissorhands • 500 Keys • The Ned-liest Catch|