As Homer is heading up to Maggie's room with wallpaper supplies, Bart asks him why he didn't use the money Marge gave him to hire a professional. Homer argues that professionals are to blame for "the atom bomb, the Titanic, and sugar substitutes" (also, he blew all the money on beer). In any case, Homer gets started by making sure the wallpaper is full of paste and is neither too thick nor too thin by eating it.
An hour after the bowel de-gluing later, Homer returns from the hospital and begins cutting the wallpaper down to size. However, he can't seem to cut it down straight and ends up cutting more and more off the sides in his attempts to correct himself. Homer eventually loses it and takes a samurai sword to the wallpaper, earning him another trip to the hospital.
Now angry, Homer tries to force the wallpaper onto the wall, but it keeps falling on him and Homer begins cursing profusely. It eventually gets to the point where he runs out of English curses, and so Bart hands him a book of Chinese cursewords to keep his rant going. By the time Homer collapses from exhaustion, the room is a paper-filled mess.
Later, Bart comes back in to see that all the wallpaper has been hung up perfectly. When he asks Homer how he did it, Homer explains that he did what his forefathers would have done in his position... he hired a drifter.