Marge: I don't know. Remember that New Year's Eve at Lenny's? He didn't even have a clock.
Grampa: Oh, wait a minute. The family name is my legacy to you. I got it from my father, and he got it from his father and he traded a mule for it! And that mule went on to save Spring Break!
TV Announcer: The start of television's second most exciting season. Midseason is just two hundred exciting seconds away!
Homer: Dog? Cat?
Bart: Taped and corked.
Homer: (singing) Max Power, he's the man whose name you'd love to touch, but you mustn't touch! His name sounds good in your ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear! Cause his name can be said, by anyone!
Homer: Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!
Homer: The whole town's laughing at me. Even that cat out there! Bart, kill that cat!
Homer: And that big yellow flower!
Marge: Homer, your growing insanity is starting to worry me. Why don't you talk to the producers of the show? Maybe they'll make your character suave again.
Homer: Hmm... I guess I could, but while I'm gone, keep an eye on that weird-looking kid down there.
Homer: Yeah. "Bart."
Homer: I can't understand what happened. Why'd they change Homer Simpson's character from cool to stupid?
Lisa: The first episode was just a pilot, Dad. Producers fiddle with shows all the time. They change characters, drop others, and push some into the background. (Mr. Largo and the Goofball walk by)