- Comic Book Guy: I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life.
- Bart: Milhouse, watch me make a loser lose it. [enters the Android's Dungeon with Milhouse]
- Comic Book Guy: Ugh, customers, how I hate them.
- Bart: Excuse me, I just heard that before Spiderman was a movie, it was a comic book. Is that possible?
- Comic Book Guy: What the...! Suffering Steve Ditko! How could you not KNOW that Spider-MAN first appeared in 1962's classic Amazing Fantasy # 15?!? GAH!
- Bart: Ooh, 12 cents! I'll take eight.
- Comic Book Guy: What the...you idiot! Mint condition copies are like $40,000 each! Must lie down...on pile of unsold Hulk hands...
- Homer: [as Everyman] Don't thank me! Thank Captain America for giving me the patriotism to want to save the President's life. And thank Wonder Woman for giving me the boobs to distract the guards.
- Comic Book Guy: You are acceptable!
- Homer: Great, would you like to see me naked?
- Studio Exec: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie.
- Homer: What movie?
- Studio Exec: Homer, we have a problem.
- Homer: Fine, I'll give back the Oscars i stole from the lobby. Do you want back the Golden Globe?
- Studio Lady: Noo, nooo.
- Lyle McCarthy: I'm going to teach you healthy alternatives to eating. We don't have much time, so we'll do it to a montage to the song, "Eye of the Tiger"
- Homer: Aww, that song is a little on the nose. Can we do it to David Bowie's "Heroes?"
- Lyle: Eh, it's your montage
- Lisa: There were a lot of holes in your story.
- Studio Exec: That's the problem when you have 17 writers, but don't worry, we have two fresh ones working on it.
- [cuts to Maggie and Mr. Teeny banging at typewriters]
- Studio Exec: I have a bad feeling about this movie. Our star's overweight, we're way over budget, and that grasshopper raptor we built seems to have developed a mind of its own.
- Carl: One minute he's skinny and one minute he's fat. What a gyp.
- Studio Exec: Awesome performance, Homer. I smell Oscar! [pauses, then turns to a sloppy-looking stagehand] Oscar, take a shower, or tomato bath or something. Please!
- Homer: I'm so cold.
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