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Homer the Father/Quotes

< Homer the Father

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Episode
References
Gags
Appearances
Gallery
Quotes
Credits
Flaming Moe
Homer the Father
The Blue and the Gray
Homer: I never thought of fatherhood as something that could affect a kid.

Homer: I liked the producing, the executive producing and especially the co-producing, but the supervising producing was the best I've ever seen!

Poltergiest: How could you mistake him for me?
Willie: It was that sassy mouth that got you killed in the first place.

Apu: Mr. Homer, you inadvertently left your nuclear power plant ID in the birthday card rack.
Homer: I can't lose that, it's the best picture I have.
Apu: I am more concerned with global terrorism. America's enemies would give anything for your nuclear knowledge.
Homer: Yeah. I do know a lot about nuclears.
Apu: And America has so many enemies: Iran, Iraq, China, Mordor, the hoochies that laid low Tiger Woods, undesirable immigrants, by which I mean everyone that came after me, including my children.

Bart: Can I betray the country I pledge allegiance to every day?
CIA Agent #1: You pledge allegiance to the flag.
CIA Agent #2: And the flag is made in China.

CIA Agent: Okay, but don't read our subtitles.

Milhouse: Oh my God! I found my new look! (shows Bart a pair of overalls)
Bart: Those are girl overalls!
Milhouse: I could pull it off.

Bart: Oh my god I think I just met the thing I'm going to die on.

Homer: Life was so much easier when a machine told you when to laugh.

Homer: (watching TV credits) I liked the producing, the executive producing and especially the co-producing, but the supervising producing was the best I've ever seen!

Homer: The boy's acting really weird. I did everything that T.V. show told me to and he's still not happy.
Marge: Well, maybe you shouldn't listen to a 30 - year old T.V. show that only got on the air because the creator had evidence the network president ran over a guy.

Announcer: Thicker Than Waters was filmed live before a studio audience.
Homer: Heh, heh, heh. Everyone in that studio audience is dead now.

Lisa: Maybe if you studied harder and got better grades, Dad would give you the money for that bike.
Bart: Does dad give you money for good grades?
Lisa: I've been doing the family's checkbooks for years. I take what I need.

Bart: I like going to work with you, dad.
Homer: And I like having you here, son. 'Cause you can wake me up if someone comes.

Homer: Why would a child go to the zoo?

Sheldon Leavitt: (after writing a script) It's good enough. Let's go home.

Sheldon Leavitt: I slept with everyone in the cast, including the dog.
James Lipton: To quote Chandler Bing from Friends, too much information. And to quote Dwayne from What's Happenin'!, Hey... hey... hey.

Homer: (singing the Thicker Than Waters theme) This is my favorite song now. Sorry, Don't Fear The Reaper.

Bart: Can I have it Dad? (showing Homer a picture of the minibike)
Homer: Huh?
Bart: Can I?

Homer: You still see that crow on shows sometimes.

Homer: Hmm, hmm! Marge, would like a Thicker Than Waters collectable plate?
Marge: Homer, you can't order anything from that magazine. It's 25 years old.
Homer: Oh yeah? I'll show you. TV Guide Offer, 1 World Trade Center...

James Lipton: Rebecca, you briefly inspired a hairstyle called "the Lizzy". Is "the Lizzy" with us here tonight?
Rebecca: I was clear with your people that I would not recreate "the Lizzy".
James Lipton: Oh but "the Lizzy" is here. (puts on a "Lizzy" wig") I shouldn't judge my prom date just because he's in a wheelchair. I should judge him by who he is in here. The family hugs.


Season 21 Season 22 Quotes Season 23
Elementary School MusicalLoan-a LisaMoneyBARTTreehouse of Horror XXILisa Simpson, This Isn't Your LifeThe Fool MontyHow Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?The Fight Before ChristmasDonnie FatsoMoms I'd Like to ForgetFlaming MoeHomer the FatherThe Blue and the GrayAngry Dad: The MovieThe Scorpion's TaleA Midsummer's Nice DreamLove is a Many Strangled ThingThe Great SimpsinaThe Real Housewives of Fat TonyHomer Scissorhands500 KeysThe Ned-liest Catch

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