|Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife||
- (after Homer moons the camera)
- Producer: Uhhh! We'd better pixellate those!
- Cameraman: There aren't enough pixels in the world!
- Producer: Yeah, umm, just cover it with Ryan Seacrest's head.
- Homer: If I have enough strength, I'll take you up to the TV and show you how thin it is.
- Carl: Ain't no party like a Lenny party, 'cause a Lenny party don't stop! (looks at his watch) Oh man, I've got work tomorrow. See ya.
- Lisa: I've seen this same show on a different network.
- Fox Executive: (stares at her nervously) Here, have a FOX sweatshirt.
- Lisa: (puts it on and looks on the back) This is an ABC sweatshirt.
- Executive: And it zips up all the way! (zips up the sweatshirt, muffling Lisa's shouts)
- Lisa: I don't understand, Dad. Our family has so many flaws, why must we share them with the world?
- Homer: Because we'll be on TV! And earn enough money to buy a TV! TV!
- Lisa: But, Dad!
- Homer: Yes, TV-sa?
- Lisa: Ergh, forget it.
- Verity: Charles hasn't satisfied me in years.
- Homer: That's how I feel about Notre Dame football.
- Patty: What brought us together is how much we hate you!
- Homer: Okay then. I'll just vote "no" on Prop 38 so you can't adopt! (Patty twists Homer's arm) Ooooowwww! Kidding! I don't vote! The voting place is up the hill and I never make it! (Patty twists Homer's arm harder)
- Sideshow Mel: I've never seen a picture so highly-defined!
- Brandine: Can you believe it, Cletus? Another party and we can't go.
- Cletus: Yeah, just 'cause we's afraid to use an uppity-box.
- Tour Guide: Look, there's Dan Castellaneta from The Tracey Ullman Show.
- Homer: (leaning out of the tour guide tram) Hey funny man! Say something funny!
- Dan Castellaneta: Please don't lean out of the tram, sir, you might get hurt.
- Homer: (childish imitating Castelleneta) Oh! Don't lean out of the tram! (he then gets hit by a gold statue of Mischa Barton)
- Homer: Marge, thank God you're home! She made me spend time with the kids! And not just TV time. Talking time!
- Charles: You're leaving me for him?
- Homer: So it would appear. However, Cousin Itt there was born a woman.
- lyrics to "Picture in Picture" sung by Homer:
- You make me laugh, you make me cry
- Without you I'd just want to die
- For the rest of my life you'll be a fixture
- Now let me enjoy your picture in picture.
- lyrics to "Lady Blue" sung by Charles:
- Lady when you came to me, I was feeling blue
- Blue just like your hair, you see
- Blue just like the moon
- But only when the moon is blue
- And not when it is cream
- And now that you are here with me
- I am in a dream
- (In normal voice) Oh, yeah, Marge, your dreams can come true.
- Lady, when you go away
- I feel like I could die
- Not like dye like your hair is dye
- But die like Lady Di
- And not like Di like her name is Di
- But die like when she died
- But lady just like Lady Di
- Be my princess tonight
- But don't die
- Don't die.