Mr. Burns (inside of the giant cage bird): Quiet Smithers! Now bring me some fresh water and a change of newspaper! If I have to read that same "Dilbert" one more time, I'll go mad!
Smithers : No speaking while Mr. Burns is ranting!
Mr. Burns (upon seeing Falco): Smithers, who is this noble creature?
Smithers: It appears to be a falcon, sir.
Bart : He's Falco.
Mr. Burns : Falco, eh? I like the cut of his giblets. He reminds me of myself.
(Bart's pager beeps while they are having dinner on the garbage island.)
Lisa : It's Bart's pager!
Bart : So? Falco can get his own blanket.
(After seven weeks on the island.)
Lenny (to Carl, looking at Marge): Maybe it's the island madness talking, but that Marge sure is pretty. I think I'll drown Homer and make her my bride. Wanna help?
Carl : Okay, but then I'll drown you and make her my bride later.
Lenny : Fair enough.
(After seven weeks on the island.)
Marge : Dinner is served.
Homer : What are we having?
Marge : We're having stuff I scraped from the bottom of cans.
Homer : Aw... We had that last night.
Marge : No, that was stuff I scraped from the bottom of TV dinner trays.
Homer (dressed as The Skipper from Gilligan's Island): Now, let's hide! There are headhunters everywhere, a giant spider, and a guy who doesn't now War World II is over!
Bart : I'm worried about Homer.
Lisa : I'm more worried about where that laugh track is coming from.
(Upon arriving to Garbagio.)
Bart : Man, what smells so funky?
Homer : Don't look at me. I took a sponge bath in those lemon-scented towelettes.
Mr. Burns (after activating the karousel): Smithers, why weren't they floating into the air and exploding?
Smithers : The union wouldn't allow it, sir.
Mr. Burns (disappointed): Very well then. Give them their plane tickets and have the hired goons escort them out of the building.
Lenny (to his goon): Hey, you're twisting my arm the wrong way.
Homer's Goon: Oh, sorry. It's his first day out of goon school.
Mr. Burns : Greetings, old timers! And welcome to Karousel. Please note the spelling of Karousel with a "K" to avoid copyright infringement.
Bart (trying to get Falco to play fetch with a stick): Go on, Falco! Get it! I can't begin my reign of terror if you don't get the stick!
Carl (to Homer): You didn't read the memo? What am I saying, of course you didn't.
Smithers (upon seeing Homer's I.D.): You were born in 1941? This I.D. looks fake.
Homer (indignant): Oh, and next you'll accuse me of making a fake I.D. in the eighties to get out of fighting in the Cola Wars!
Homer : So, Lenny, Carl, you guys ride to work together everyday?
Lenny : Yep.
Homer : And carpooling doesn't make you feel like losers?
Lenny : No. Why should it?
Homer : No reason. I mean the carpool lane. Heh, heh. Nothing's cooler than the carpool lane.
Carl (indignant, to Lenny): That's it! I told you he couldn't go a mile without making a derogatory comment. This was a mistake.
Homer : What are you talking about? I'm just calling you losers for carpooling is all. Geez! You carpooling losers sure are sensitive.
Bart (brooding because of the accident): Man, everybody's angry at me. It's not fair. They should blame England. They invented cricket. Lousy common-wealth.
Bart (having bought Falco): Wow, Falco! Everyone's totally going to forget they're mad at me when I bring you home!
Homer (upon seeing Falco): That falcon is amazing. I've totally forgotten why I was mad at you, boy.
(After Marge dyed her hair "sky-blue," it ibecame invisible against the sky, causing birds to get stuck on it.)
Lisa : Mom, there are birds stuck in your--
Homer : Quiet, Lisa. Your mother has to "hrmmm" now.
Marge : Hrmmm.
Reverend Lovejoy (angry, at Bart): You broke Saint Ignatius, Saint Sebastian, and even poor Saint Olaf!
Bart (remorseful): How's Saint Ptolomaeus?
(Dinner, after getting notice about the churche's 2.000 dollars bill.)
Marge : I suppose we'll just have to cut back on luxuries. Everyone pour their gravy back into the boat. C'mon! C'mon!