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Homer's Run/Quotes

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Marge Simpson in: A Recipe for Disaster
Homer's Run
The Secret Origin of Sideshow Mel

Template:Simpsons Comics Stories 151-200/Quotes

Mr. Burns (inside of the giant cage bird): Quiet Smithers! Now bring me some fresh water and a change of newspaper! If I have to read that same "Dilbert" one more time, I'll go mad!

Smithers : No speaking while Mr. Burns is ranting!

Mr. Burns (upon seeing Falco): Smithers, who is this noble creature?

Smithers: It appears to be a falcon, sir.

Bart : He's Falco.

Mr. Burns : Falco, eh? I like the cut of his giblets. He reminds me of myself.

(Bart's pager beeps while they are having dinner on the garbage island.)

Lisa : It's Bart's pager!

Bart : So? Falco can get his own blanket.

(After seven weeks on the island.)

Lenny (to Carl, looking at Marge): Maybe it's the island madness talking, but that Marge sure is pretty. I think I'll drown Homer and make her my bride. Wanna help?

Carl : Okay, but then I'll drown you and make her my bride later.

Lenny : Fair enough.

(After seven weeks on the island.)

Marge : Dinner is served.

Homer : What are we having?

Marge : We're having stuff I scraped from the bottom of cans.

Homer : Aw... We had that last night.

Marge : No, that was stuff I scraped from the bottom of TV dinner trays.

Homer (dressed as The Skipper from Gilligan's Island): Now, let's hide! There are headhunters everywhere, a giant spider, and a guy who doesn't now War World II is over!

Bart : I'm worried about Homer.

Lisa : I'm more worried about where that laugh track is coming from.

(Upon arriving to Garbagio.)

Bart : Man, what smells so funky?

Homer : Don't look at me. I took a sponge bath in those lemon-scented towelettes.

Mr. Burns (after activating the karousel): Smithers, why weren't they floating into the air and exploding?

Smithers : The union wouldn't allow it, sir.

Mr. Burns (disappointed): Very well then. Give them their plane tickets and have the hired goons escort them out of the building.

Lenny (to his goon): Hey, you're twisting my arm the wrong way.

Homer's Goon: Oh, sorry. It's his first day out of goon school.

Mr. Burns : Greetings, old timers! And welcome to Karousel. Please note the spelling of Karousel with a "K" to avoid copyright infringement.

Bart (trying to get Falco to play fetch with a stick): Go on, Falco! Get it! I can't begin my reign of terror if you don't get the stick!

Carl (to Homer): You didn't read the memo? What am I saying, of course you didn't.

Smithers (upon seeing Homer's I.D.): You were born in 1941? This I.D. looks fake.

Homer (indignant): Oh, and next you'll accuse me of making a fake I.D. in the eighties to get out of fighting in the Cola Wars!

Homer : So, Lenny, Carl, you guys ride to work together everyday?

Lenny : Yep.

Homer : And carpooling doesn't make you feel like losers?

Lenny : No. Why should it?

Homer : No reason. I mean the carpool lane. Heh, heh. Nothing's cooler than the carpool lane.

Carl (indignant, to Lenny): That's it! I told you he couldn't go a mile without making a derogatory comment. This was a mistake.

Homer : What are you talking about? I'm just calling you losers for carpooling is all. Geez! You carpooling losers sure are sensitive.

Bart (brooding because of the accident): Man, everybody's angry at me. It's not fair. They should blame England. They invented cricket. Lousy common-wealth.

Bart (having bought Falco): Wow, Falco! Everyone's totally going to forget they're mad at me when I bring you home!

Homer (upon seeing Falco): That falcon is amazing. I've totally forgotten why I was mad at you, boy.

(After Marge dyed her hair "sky-blue," it ibecame invisible against the sky, causing birds to get stuck on it.)

Lisa : Mom, there are birds stuck in your--

Homer : Quiet, Lisa. Your mother has to "hrmmm" now.

Marge : Hrmmm.

Reverend Lovejoy (angry, at Bart): You broke Saint Ignatius, Saint Sebastian, and even poor Saint Olaf!

Bart (remorseful): How's Saint Ptolomaeus?

(Dinner, after getting notice about the churche's 2.000 dollars bill.)

Marge : I suppose we'll just have to cut back on luxuries. Everyone pour their gravy back into the boat. C'mon! C'mon!

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