|Home Away from Homer||
- Homer: (to Ned) You wear a bathing suit in the bathtub?
- Flanders: Yeah, so I can't see my own shrinky-dink.
- Homer: Makes sense.
- Lisa: I feel so much empathy for those villagers. They had to drink their own tears.
- Bart: I was so bored, I cut the ponytail off of the guy in front of us. (holds it to the back his head) Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and made $600 last year.
- Marge: Bart! Don't make fun of grad students. They just made a terrible life choice.
- Bart: Mom, I don't want to read, it's the weekend.
- Bart: I know what we can “Ask Jeeves.” Why does he suck?
- Homer: Don't worry, I'll straighten things out with Coach Clay. We're good buddies. We play this game called who can punch the softest and he always lets me win.
- Apu: At the same Mr. Flanders are means completely, none it of there. Fort-coming-suit-dreaa.
- Homer: Yep, and nobody's telling them. Not even with this good-body, God. (Moe is holding some magazine)
- Moe: Boy, not even some sexy still photos and the girly magazine.
- Homer: And she listen to it. (starts to laugh and stops) And the best part is stupid Flanders doesn't even know it's happening in his stupid house; hence my nickname, stupid Flanders!
- Lisa: You've totally humiliated the best friend The Simpsons ever had.
- Homer: You're right, but you know who the real victim is here? Ned.
- Lisa: That's what we've been trying to tell you!
- Lady: Winner of the Romanian Film Festival's Prestigious Golden Bucket... Holy crap, someone's actually calling!
- Flanders: You softcore sophomores took advantage of my trustful nature and sullied the Internet by putting pornography on it! Get out!
- (Two hot chicks feel gloomy, they gasps and Ned shocks, too. Springfield citizens cheering together)
- Flanders: The whole town is laughing at behind my back! (sighing) I guess you're the only real friend I have.
- Moe: Are you kidding? Homer's the one what wised us up to the sexy goings-on.
- Flanders: Homer, is this true?
- Homer: Ned, I had no choice. It was just so funny.
- Flanders: The Bible said: Cast your bread upon the waters! Only I got was, a bunch of soggy breads.
- Homer: Hmmm, soggy bre--
- Flanders: Don't say it, Homer! This is not the time!
- Homer: Ad...
- Homer: What's this? (reading) Good-bye, Springfield,
- Ned: (voice over) The Flanders family has pulled up stakes. You have laughed at us for the LAST-DIDDLY-AST time!
- Homer: Last-diddly-ast? (sobbing) Oh, he's gone! And it's all someone's fault! (He starts to crying, wailing, eating Ned's cookies)
- Marge: (on the window) Oh, I almost forget about Ned. (sniffing)
- Bart: (while reading "Gay Focus") Mom, am I a butch or a fem?
- Marge: (Not listening) Honey, you can be anything you want to be.
- Marge: What language is this? Gibby-gabby?
- Lisa: It's Albanian. But the producers added subtitles to make it commercial.
- Katja: I'm Katja and this is Vicky. We make much study at commissionaire college.
- Vicky: We like your about the room, we move that DORY because it's like co-attic. Sometimes we saw the boys in there. (starts to cry) Robes.
- Ned: You poor thing, I never heard those Robes. (shudder) Flapping everywhere! Girls, welcome to the very own Ned and breakfast!
- Katja: Silly talk means "yes"? (They visited on Flanders' home)
- Ned: Here's your room, ladies. You can catch some Z's while you earn those degrees!
- Katja: [giggling] You rhyme like Snoopy Dog.
- Ned: Well, thank you.
- Vicky: Katja? Do you think everyone's watching (She smiles like Britney Spears)
- Katja: Yes, they're are. They will see us explore our sexhood.
- Bart: Hey, this one of those dirty websites!
- Milhouse: Two girls? Who would want that? (The door knocks. Two girls shocks and wearing sleep-ropes, and starts to read)
- Katja: You may inside come. (Ned opens and holds some Cappuccinos)
- Ned: I got two Cappuccinos for Ned's pre-meds.
- Bart and Milhouse: (shocked) FLANDERS?
- Ned: (heard his name) That's odd. I guess swore I just heard someone say my name.
- Bart: You heard nothing!
- Ned: Oh, oh, well, that's better! (Snap to black)
- (Fade to Bart and Milhouse still sits on chairs. On a website, Vicky spanks Katja's bottom with Rodd's picture frame)
- Katja: Spank me again with little boy's picture! (Two kids laughing while Homer heard something)
- Homer: What are you kids laughing it? If you say Jimmy Fallon? I know you're lying. (gasps) Scantily clad co-eds?! Why you little! (starts to strangled Bart) I'll teach you to have a libido!
- Bart: (yelling) Dad, look who's in there!
- Homer: (shocks) Flanders? (Vicky holds a arrow sign "SEXY", Katja dancing, and Ned brushes his teeth)
- Milhouse: He doesn't know it's happening!
- (Homer knocks out Coach Roberts)
- Roberts: What did you do that? I was backing for mercy!
- Homer: I saw my advantage, and I took it. That's what heroes do.