The Hair Clinic is a clinic located in Springfield Mall which specializes in selling hair-regrowth products.
- Dimoxinil - Costs $1,000 and isn't covered under any health plan, which makes it unaffordable for a lot of people. However, the kit includes gravity boots, a scalp massager, and a Dimoxinil T-shirt.
- Hair In A Drum - Costs $19.95 for a large jug, but is much less effective. Comes with a disclaimer that any hair growth you experience while using it will be purely coincidental.