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Grift of the Magi/Quotes

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Episode
References
Gags
Appearances
Gallery
Quotes
Credits
Take My Wife, Sleaze
Grift of the Magi
Little Big Mom
Ralph: Hello, I'm Dr. Stupid! I'm going to take out your liver bones. Oops, you're dead!
Mr. Burns: I never liked that Dr. Stupid.

(Lisa writes "I will not do math in class" on the blackboard as a punishment)
Bart: Lisa in trouble? The ironing is delicious.
Lisa: The word is irony!
Bart: Huh?

Bart/Milhouse: (singing) Sisters are doing it for themselves
Homer: (offscreen) Hey, why is this door locked?
Bart: Oh, no. It's dad. (Bart falls off the bed with a bowling ball on his butt. Homer enters.)
Homer: (gasps) What's going on? And I want a non-gay explanation!

Lisa: Don't you think there's something weird going on here? We spent all day selecting fabric swatches, and then our guest speaker was Phil from Marketing.
Bart: All's I know is I'm getting straight A's, and that ain't not bad.

Bart: You know what our homework assignment is? Find a toy and bring it to class.
Marge: Boy, that sounds like fun!
Bart: Yeah, but I'm still not gonna do it.

Marge: What about Mr. Burns? Maybe he could help.
Homer: Forget it! He releases the hounds on every charity that comes to the door. Feed The Children, Save The Whales, even Release The Hounds.

Lisa: Instead of giving us an education, they used us to design a toy! Aren't you outraged?
Bart: Not really, but if you're gonna throw a spaz, I'll come with.

Homer: So, who am I beating up?
Lisa: Nobody. You're just gonna break into everyone's house and steal their favorite toy.
Bart: Thus saving Christmas.
Homer: Now, let's see... this'll make three Christmases I saved versus eight I ruined... two were kind of a draw...

Bart: [watching a bad Spanish-language TV show with the Bumblebee Man as a judge] Ugh, daytime TV is muy estupido!

Male Executive: I just wish those second-graders would stop jerking us around. [observes the second-grade classroom through the window]
Ralph: Fun toys are fun.
Female Executive: Well said, Ralph, but we're trying to come up with a name for a toy.
Janey: Mrs. Fun?
Female Executive: Not bad.
Ralph: Fun?
Female Executive: [getting angry] Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers, but if you don't pipe down I'm giving you an "F"!
Ralph: The before teacher yelled at me too.
Female Executive: [calming down again] No one's yelling, we're just brainstorming names.


Season 10 Season 11 Quotes Season 12
Beyond BlunderdomeBrother's Little HelperGuess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?Treehouse of Horror XE-I-E-I-D'ohHello Gutter, Hello FadderEight Misbehavin'Take My Wife, SleazeGrift of the MagiLittle Big MomFaith OffThe Mansion FamilySaddlesore GalacticaAlone Again, Natura-DiddilyMissionary: ImpossiblePygmoelianBart to the FutureDays of Wine and D'oh'sesKill the Alligator and RunLast Tap Dance in SpringfieldIt's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad MargeBehind the Laughter

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