Dwight Diddlehopper arrived at the First Bank of Springfield first, getting into a long line. A bored Marge decides to chat him up, complaining about the Old Jewish Man holding up the line just because he is rambling on to the bank teller. Dwight participates in the chat and makes a joke. He then tells Marge to hold on, just as his accomplice arrives, carrying a present box. Dwight then pulled his pistol out, fired three shots, and ordered everybody to get down. He then shot the security camera, to which the accomplice then pulled his gun and announced that it is a holdup. He then adds that he and Dwight are working together, to prevent any confusion that the both of them are committing separate robberies. Krusty then jokes if the two of them are together "like a couple", and Agnes Skinner goes along with the joke, stating that the bank is being robbed by "Johnny and Clyde". Enraged, Dwight fires more shots to silence everyone, and then shoots the alarm button when he notices Hans Moleman inching towards it. However, it sounds the alarm anyway.
Marge then tries to contact outside help, but the ringing of her cell phone easily scares the accomplice, who sprays bullets all over the place with his rifle, mortally wounding Gil, the new security guard, as he comes in. Horrified, this causes the accomplice to bail out on the robbery and flee. This finally alerts Chief Wiggum, who had been stationed outside the whole time. Now alone, Dwight orders everyone into the vault. He then tries to get money, but he is handed a dye pack by Hans Moleman and is sprayed by it. In pain, Dwight tries to get a tissue, but the tissue box is also a dye pack. Enraged, he then hits a bank teller, who turns out to also be a dye pack. Annoyed and infuriated, Dwight then asks if anyone else is a dye pack. Jasper raises his hand and is shot in the arm, but Jasper then asks if Dwight said "diabetic". At this time, police and SWAT have already surrounded the bank with their guns drawn. Panicking over getting killed by police, Dwight points his gun at the hostages, which causes Agnes to break down in tears. Marge then calmly talks to Dwight and asks him to turn himself in. At first, Dwight refuses, stating that he has nothing to live on, but then changes his mind when SWAT agents positioned on the roof of a nearby building point all of their aiming-lasers at his forehead. He gives a compromise: he will turn himself in if Marge visits him in prison. Marge reluctantly agrees, and Dwight surrenders and the hostages are rescued.
- Marge Simpson
- Unnamed bank teller
- Hans Moleman
- Bumblebee Man
- Old Jewish Man
- Agnes Skinner
- Krusty the Clown
- Dr. Hibbert
- Lindsey Naegle
- Jasper Beardly
- Crazy Cat Lady
- Dwight's weapon: A semiautomatic pistol resembling a Colt M1911.
- Accomplice's weapon: An automatic rifle.
- Jasper: shot in the arm and wounded.
- Gil: shot repeatedly in the torso and mortally wounded.