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Father Knows Worst/Quotes

< Father Knows Worst

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The Good, the Sad and the Drugly
Father Knows Worst
Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh
Homer: Ooh, lamb kebab! (eats the kebab) Ooh, chicken kebab! (eats it, as well) (grabs a lit fire juggling stick) Ooh, fire kebab!
Lisa: Dad, no!
Bart: (cutting in front of Lisa) Dad, yes!
Homer: [blowing fire] AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WATER! [Bart brings a bottle to Homer] Ugh... Oh, thank you... [drinks it, and then realizes that it's lighter fluid]
Bart: [laughs]
Homer: [blowing fire] WHY -- YOU -- LITTLE--!!! [grunts while strangling Bart] BURN, BARTY, BURN! [roaring and blowing fire at the strangled Bart]

Homer: (watching Bart and Lisa at school) My son is a loser, and my daughter is a loner. Way to go, Marge!

Marge: It feels like a sauna in here. (sees sign over door reading "Springfield Saunas") It is a sauna! It must have been put here by a previous owner. This house is full of surprises, but this is the first one that's pleasant.

Marge: Here, Homer. Have some beets. I boiled all the red out of them.
Homer: Oh, I can still taste undercurrents of pink!
Lisa: Here, dad. Maybe this will help.
Homer: It feels like food, but it has no flavor whatsoever! What is it?
Lisa: Mac and cheese from the school cafeteria. The blandest food known to man.

Lisa: Dad, if I join a clique, I'd become someone I hate.
Homer: Lisa, our country was founded by a clique, the Continental Congress. :Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples.
Lisa: Those are good examples.

Lisa: Dad, I don't want to hurt people.
Homer: Very well. I guess you don't need this big girl book.
Lisa: I'm a big girl! I'm a big girl!

Homer: I'm a good father to both my children. (to Maggie) Well, hello there. Who do you belong to?

Homer: Black Hawk Down! Black Hawk Down!

Oscar Wilde: Homer, there are only two tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Homer: But that makes no sense.
Oscar Wilde: Experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes.
Homer: Shut up!
Oscar Wilde: These days, man knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Homer: Whatever happened to "Boo"?!

Season 19 Season 20 Quotes Season 21
Sex, Pies, and Idiot ScrapesLost VerizonDouble, Double, Boy in TroubleTreehouse of Horror XIXDangerous CurvesHomer and Lisa Exchange Cross WordsMypods and BoomsticksThe Burns and the BeesLisa the Drama QueenTake My Life, PleaseHow the Test Was WonNo Loan Again, NaturallyGone Maggie GoneIn the Name of the GrandfatherWedding for DisasterEeny Teeny Maya, MoeThe Good, the Sad and the DruglyFather Knows WorstWaverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'ohFour Great Women and a ManicureComing to Homerica

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