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E-I-E-I-D'oh/Quotes

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Episode
References
Gags
Appearances
Gallery
Quotes
Credits
Treehouse of Horror X
E-I-E-I-D'oh
Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder
Homer: What would Zorro do? (Zorro gets shot) "ZORROOOOOOOOOOO....!"

Cow: (deep voice) "Tomacco"

Homer: Dueling at dawn. How did it ever come to this?
Lisa: [hangs up phone] The National Weather Service says dawn is still scheduled for 6:20 tomorrow and to please stop calling.

Homer: (to Marge about the colonel) He's out there, isn't he?
Marge: I'm afraid so, and his wife's with him.
Homer: (looks at the colonel's attractive-looking wife) Growl!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Hey, I'm not dead yet. (a knock is heard at the door) Oh! Oh! Save me, Marge! I saved you!
Marge: Why don't you have the colonel's wife save you?
Homer: Oh, Marge, that's in the past. Just let it go.

Homer: (to Flanders on a pay phone) Well, goodbye, my gentle neighbor. You know, I've always wanted to tell you how much..
Phone Operator: To continue talking, please deposit 10 cents.
Homer: Eh, screw it. (hangs up phone)

Bart: I'll dig an outhouse!
Lisa: I'll weed the floor.
Marge: I'll repress the rage I'm feeling.

(After the tractor falls on Homer)
Bart: Dad!
Homer: Go get Lassie!
Bart: Lassie?
Homer: I mean Lisa.

(When Homer arrives at the feed store to get some seeds)
Farmer 1: Well, well. Look at the city slicker pulling up in his fancy German car.
Homer: This car was made in Guatemala.
Farmer 2: Well, pardon us, Mr. Gucci loafers.
Homer: I bought these shoes from a hobo.
Farmer 1: Well, la-de-da, Mr. Park Avenue manicure.
Homer: I'm sorry, I believe in good grooming.

Lenny: Plutonium? Gee, Homer, isn't that kind of risky? Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not.

Homer: If we learned one thing from "The Amazing Colossal Man" and "Grasshopperus," it's that radiation makes stuff grow real big, real fast.
Marge: But didn't Grasshopperus kill Chad Everett?
Homer: Only because he tried to reason with him.

Bart: (when Bart eats the tomato) Bleh! Tastes like cigarette butts.
Marge: (takes the half-eaten tomato) That's odd. The outside looks like a tomato, but the inside is brown.
Lisa: Maybe the tomato seeds crossbred with the tobacco seeds.
Homer: Oh, great, I've got a field full of mutants.

Lisa: (to Homer) Tomacco? That's pretty clever, Dad. I mean, for a product that's evil and deadly.
Homer: Aw, thanks, honey.

(After Ralph takes a bite of the Tomacco and spits it out)
Ralph: Oh, Daddy, this tastes like Grandma.
Chief Wiggum: [takes a bite, and spits it out too] Holy Moses, it does taste like Grandma!

Laramie Executive: (to the Simpsons) Meet the Laramie cigarette team. This is Mindy, J. P., and Emil.
Mindy: Homer, we're in a bit of a pickle. Kids are crazy about tobacco, but the politicians won't let us sell it to them.
Homer: Those dirty, rotten...
Mindy: Tell me about it. But there's no law against selling kids tomacco. That little "m" is worth a lot of money to us...and to you.
Homer: How much?
Laramie Executive: Well, let's say a hundred ...
Homer: (gasps)
Laramie Executive: ... and fifty ...
Homer: (gasps louder)
Laramie Executive: ... million dollars.
Homer: (excitedly) One hundred and ... (calmly) May I speak to my family for a moment?

(While the Simpsons are in the executive bathroom)
Homer: Did you see the way Emil's looking at Mindy? I think something's going on there.
Marge: Shouldn't we be talking about the $150 million offer?
Homer: Oh, yeah, let's take it.
Lisa: Dad, it's a tobacco company. They make billions off the suffering and death of others.
Bart: She's right, Dad. They can afford a lot more.
Lisa: No...
Marge: I'm with Lisa. Let's take them to the cleaners.

Lisa: You're about to launch a terrible evil on the world. You've got to destroy this plant.
Homer: I know, honey, but what can I do as an individual. I wouldn't know where to begin.
Lisa: Just burn that plant right now and end this madness.
Homer: I wish I could make a difference, Lisa, but I'm just one man.
Lisa: (growls)
Homer: I agree, but how?


Season 10 Season 11 Quotes Season 12
Beyond BlunderdomeBrother's Little HelperGuess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?Treehouse of Horror XE-I-E-I-D'ohHello Gutter, Hello FadderEight Misbehavin'Take My Wife, SleazeGrift of the MagiLittle Big MomFaith OffThe Mansion FamilySaddlesore GalacticaAlone Again, Natura-DiddilyMissionary: ImpossiblePygmoelianBart to the FutureDays of Wine and D'oh'sesKill the Alligator and RunLast Tap Dance in SpringfieldIt's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad MargeBehind the Laughter

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