(Bart is at a low end of a see-saw while Mr. Burns is at the high end and won't fall)
Bart: Why won't you come down?
Mr. Burns: I told you. I only weigh as much as my clothes and keys.
Homer: You just cost me $200,000!
Bart: I thought it was 50.
Homer: I was gonna bet it on the dogs!
Homer: (holding toy newspaper) For your information, The Daily Growl is the only newspaper that's not afraid to say how great this country is.
(Bart marvels at the things in Simon's bedroom)
Bart: Wow, cool poster of Joe Montana.
Joe Montana: (steps out of the wall) It's not a poster.
Joe Montana: I'm the real deal. Every day I stand here the family donates a million dollars to Notre Dame. Did you know the words "Notre Dame" are French, but the team is the Fighting Irish? That's the kind of thing I think about in here.
Bart: Back in the poster, gabby.
Joe Montana: Yes, sir.
Chief Wiggum: (takes care of the robot vacuum cleaners gone wild) These innocent robots (shoots one) couldn't have done this on their own (shoots another) someone would have to turn them all on at once (shoots another) and then set them on some kind of malevolent sentience. (picks one up and examines a switch that reads "On", "Off" and "Malevolent Sentience" with the switch turned to the latter) Yep, there it is.
Bart: Oh my God. Simon set me up. And all this time I thought he wanted the life of a stranger he met in the bathroom.
(Lisa drags Simon out of the living room and puts him against a wall)
Lisa: Ok, listen you. I don't know who you are or what you've done to the real Bart, but God help me, I want him back!
Simon: I don't know what you're talking about. (Lisa slaps Simon in the face and he stares at her)
Lisa: Oh ho. The real Bart would have thrown me out the window!