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Kent: A plague is sweeping through Springfield. A blue bonnet plague. Springfield's ladies are wearing colorful Easter hats to celebrate the resurrection of... Jesus Christ.
Mr. Burns: Good Lord. Look at all these comical booklets.
Comic Book Guy: Yes, yes. Just don't exhale your death breath directly on them. Thank you.
Mr. Burns: You know, I used to collect these bestapled fables.
Clifford Burns: What are you reading?
Mr. Burns: The adventures of The Good Shepherd and his sidekick, The Fleecy Kid.
Clifford Burns: Bah!
Mr. Burns: That's his battle cry. Baa! The sound which terrifies sheep rustlers the length and breadth of Michigan's untamed upper peninsula.
Clifford Burns: You should be out in the fresh air, kicking dogs. I'm gonna buy this publishing company and burn it to the ground.
Man: Why did you have to lock us in?
Clifford Burns: Teach my son a lesson!
Mr. Burns: How much for your entire collection?
Comic Book Guy: Um, the speed of light, expressed in dollars.
Mr. Burns: Just give him Faraday's Constant.
: Mr. Szyslak, what name did the defendant ask for when he called you at your bar?
Skinner : He asked for, um (clears throat) Mike Rotch.
Moe Skinner: And then what did you say?
Moe: Well, I said, um I said, "Mike Rotch." Um, "Mike Rotch." And then I (sobbing): I'm sorry.
Skinner: Take all the time you need.
Moe: I, uh, I, uh, I yelled out, "Has anybody seen Mike Rotch?" (gallery murmuring) See, they (sobs) See, they thought I was asking if anybody wanted to see my-my Oh, man, this is so painful. (sobbing) My... crotch. (gallery gasps and glares angrily at Bart)