- “The decision is final. Tabled, this motion is. Or is it?”
- ―Yoda (parody)
Cosmic Wars: The Gathering Shadow is a sci-fi film in the Cosmic Wars movie series, created by Randall Curtis.
History
The Simpson family went to watch it. It turned out to be the worst film in the series and was mostly political (with Bart expressing shock and confusion from reading the opening narrative that the main focus of the film was apparently going to be about amendments and regulatory agencies, and Lisa expressing shock and disgust that the film was all about senate redistricting upon leaving the theater, and Comic Book Guy, a massive Cosmic Wars fan, declaring it the worst Cosmic Wars movie ever.). Bart and Lisa decided to then go and see Randall Curtis to complain about the film, who then realized that he had lost his way with the series and decided to go back to the roots.
Plot
The film starts off with the opening crawl, telling the story up until the film:
- It is a time of uncertainty. The empire's ambiguous tariff statutes mandate close reexamination of galactic export quotas. Interim Princess Agoomba has co-chaired a subcommittee to draft amendments to existing trade policies.
- Meanwhile, regulatory agencies are being heavily lobbied by a consortium of mercantile interest groups and their suppliers to streamline loading restrictions for class-C cargo vessels. The shipping unions have remained conspicuously silent.
At the Galactic Senate, a roll call is made to make sure everyone is present. An AT-AT then crashes into the senate building and proposes an amendment to a Space Bill, but is told to wait his turn by the Galactic senator. The senator then continues the roll call while the AT-AT dons glasses and reads the newspaper.
Later in the film, a character asks Jim-Jam Bonks what happened to his wheel cover of his ship. Jim-Jam replied that he sold it to buy space spliff.
At the end of the film, an alien says "the decision is final. Tabled this motion is. Or is it?"
Behind the Laughter
- The film is a parody of the Star Wars series, specifically The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones.
- Most of the complaints levied against the film by the characters resembled actual complaints made against the above two movies (notably the focus on politics as well as Jar-Jar being a thinly-veiled ethnic stereotype).
- It is unknown if the film is connected to Episodes I, II and III, and as such it is unknown whether the events of the film still happened as of "Episode VII: A New Take"
- Although the film began either in the morning or mid-day, the film eventually was shown to have ended at night, implying the film lasted for several hours. Presumably, most of the film's length was due to the roll call scene, as when it cut to sunset, the senator was still doing the roll call.
