| Cookie Kwan|
|Occupation||Burlesque dancer Realtor|
|Relatives|| Cousin: Nookie Kwan|
|First Appearance||Realty Bites"|
|Voiced By||Tress MacNeille|
- “Stay off the west side!”
Cookie Kwan is a go-getter in the imploding Springfield real-estate industry, the "number one on the west side". She is of Asian heritage and has a stereotypical Asian accent.
She is very aggressive toward anyone whom she deems a threat to her business, as she once warned Marge to "stay off the West Side!" and said to Gil, "Were you talking about the West Side?" He responds, "No, Cookie, I swear! I'm-I'm scared of you!"
Both Cookie and Lindsey Naegle often look for a man. She once offered to have Homer move to her house. She once had a relationship with Mayor Quimby and they had a son, but Quimby gave him to one of his bodyguards, so she was one of the 37 women filing paternity suits against Quimby.
Cookie went to Camp Land-A-Man with Marge, Helen Lovejoy, Luann Van Houten, Patty and Selma when she was a child. Marge had arranged a date with Homer, but he didn't appear, so Marge went out of the camp. Cookie told everyone at the camp about it and that Marge was pregnant.
Episodes she's had a role in are in bold.
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 9 minutes into Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4 after yoga scene:
Jonathan Frink (speaking on phone with Homer): Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing?
Cookie: This is my cousin, Nookie Kwan.
Nookie: I'm number one on the east side!
Frink: Oh gay-layvin.
- ↑ Realty Bites
- ↑ Large Marge
- ↑ She Used to Be My Girl
- ↑ The Way We Weren't
- ↑ Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh
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