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- Homer: You [Bart] do your homework. You [Lisa] don't do so much homework. You [Maggie] learn to talk!
- Homer: I will respect you working-class slobs, because we are all equal. And now, as I ascend this crystal staircase to my office, I say, avert your gaze.
- Homer: All my life I've had one dream. To achieve my many goals. Mr. Burns has never given me a thumbs up or a "way to be" or a "you go girl!"
- Dr. Hibbert: Homer, take this quarter, call your mother, and tell her you're never going to be a stripper!
- Homer: Aren't you gonna chuckle?
- Dr. Hibbert: There's nothing to chuckle about.
- Marge: (to Homer) So Mr. Burns doesn't take you seriously, big whoop, who gives a doodle, whoopy ding dong doo!
- Homer: Thanks for trying, but I'll be at Moe's.
- Marge: So my husband goes to a bar every night, whoopdy doo, who gives a bibble, gabba gabba hey!