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- Judge Harm: Mr. Simpson, give me your license.
- Homer: (to Marge) Calm down, Stresserella!
- Homer: And now to all my dear friends I say, get the hell out of my yard.
- Homer: Maybe I should keep walking instead of going into a dark, dreary bar.
- Moe: Get in here, Boozy. You're late for your drunkening.
- Homer: No. From now on walking will be my alcohol and feeling good will be my hangover.
- Homer: If Marge isn't happy, I'm not happy. And if I'm not happy, Moe's very happy. But for once, this isn't about Moe.
- Homer: (after crashing his car in the water) Save me, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan!
- Homer: (after being rescued) Oh, I'll never mock the Coast Guard again. You Navy rejects are all right.
- Moe: You want to know how to make a peach crumble? Kick it in the groin.
- Carl: I can whip up my famous poulet au vin avec champignons a la Carl Mwah!
- Homer: You can bring a bag of ice.