- Car Saleswoman: Thinking of saying goodbye to gas?
- Bart: You betcha! (burps)
- Marge: Bart! (farts) Well, that shut me up.
- Lisa: I'm proud of you dad! Buying an electric car will help clean the air and to protect the Earth's supply of…you're faking this to get the gift, aren't you?
- Homer: But I like the nice things you said about me.
- Marge: Hey, we never opened that envelope to see what our gift is.
- Homer: We didn't? That's odd. Seems like we would've done that right after we left the car place.
- Marge: I know, but we didn't.
- Homer: [holds up envelope] Well, here it is, so we can open it and find out now.
- Marge: Perfect!
- Homer: [opens the envelope, and pulls out two movie tickets] Aw, movie tickets. That hardly seems worth destroying a car.
- Homer: Mel Gibson is just a guy, Marge. No different than me or Lenny.
- Marge: Were you or Lenny ever named "Sexiest Man Alive?"
- Homer: Hmmm, I'm not certain about Lenny...
- Homer: Boring!
- Marge: It's not boring. He's passionate about government.
- Homer: At least the Jimmy Stewart version had the giant rabbit who ran the savings and loan.
- Mel Gibson: I'm getting too old for this crap.
- Homer: How old ARE you, anyway?
- Mel Gibson: Well, I've been told I can play anywhere from 28 to....
- Homer: Sheesh, sorry I asked.
- Mel Gibson: Come on, Homer; let's just give them the stupid movie!
- Homer: Movies aren't stupid. They fill us with romance and hatred and revenge fantasies. Lethal Weapon taught us that suicide is funny!
- Mel Gibson: That really wasn't my intention...
- Homer: Before Lethal Weapon 2, I never thought there could be a bomb on my toilet and now I check every time!
- Marge: It's true, he does!
- Mel Gibson:: Movies really mean that much to you, Homer?
- Homer: They're my only escape from the drudgery of work and family.
- Homer: I don't get it, Mel. How can you be so calm and cool? My stomach's full of vomiting butterflies!
- Marge: Boy, that quiet engine sure makes conversation a lot easier.
- Homer: Yeah, and it's got a lot of other problems too.
- Lisa: Dad! You're headed for the harbor!
- Mel Gibson: Mr. Simpson, I need your help.
- Homer: Huh?
- Mel Gibson:: I think you're right about my movie, and I want you to help me make it better.
- Homer: Really?, You want my help?, Marge, did you hear that? Mel Gibson wants my help! Mel Gibson!
- Lisa: But, Dad, I thought you hated
- Homer: Shut up.