Car Saleswoman: Thinking of saying goodbye to gas?
Bart: You betcha! (burps)
Marge: Bart! (farts) Well, that shut me up.
Lisa: I'm proud of you dad! Buying an electric car will help clean the air and to protect the Earth's supply of…you're faking this to get the gift, aren't you?
Homer: But I like the nice things you said about me.
Marge: Boy, that quiet engine sure makes conversation a lot easier.
Homer: Yeah, it's got a lot of other problems, too.
Lisa: Look, Dad, you're heading for the harbor!
Homer: Relax, we're in an electric car.
[Homer drives off the pier, landing in the harbor. Sure enough, the car is unfazed.]
Homer: See? Everything's fine. [gasps] Dolphins! [the dolphins swim too close to the car, and are zapped] Oopsie. [a group of mermaids appear] Hi, girls! [they get zapped too] Aw. [the family drives up onto dry land] Salt water seems to be good for it. [the car blows up, filling the interior with smoke]
Marge: Hey, we never opened that envelope to see what our gift is.
Homer: We didn't? That's odd. Seems like we would've done that right after we left the car place.
Marge: I know, but we didn't.
Homer: [holds up envelope] Well, here it is, so we can open it and find out now.
Homer: [opens the envelope, and pulls out two movie tickets] Aw, movie tickets. That hardly seems worth destroying a car.
Homer: Mel Gibson is just a guy, Marge. No different than me or Lenny.
Marge: Were you or Lenny ever named "Sexiest Man Alive?"
Homer: Hmmm, I'm not certain about Lenny...
Marge: It's not boring. He's passionate about government.
Homer: At least the Jimmy Stewart version had the giant rabbit who ran the savings and loan.
Mel Gibson: I'm getting too old for this crap.
Homer: How old ARE you, anyway?
Mel Gibson: Well, I've been told I can play anywhere from 28 to....
Homer: Sheesh, sorry I asked.
Gibson: Come on, Homer; let's just give them the stupid movie!
Homer: Movies aren't stupid. They fill us with romance and hatred and revenge fantasies. Lethal Weapon taught us that suicide is funny!
Gibson: That really wasn't my intention...
Homer: And before Lethal Weapon 2, I never thought there could be a bomb on my toilet and now I check every time!
Marge: It's true, he does!
Gibson: Movies really mean that much to you, Homer?
Homer: They're my only escape from the drudgery of work and family. No offense!
Homer: I don't get it, Mel. How can you be so calm and cool? My stomach's full of vomiting butterflies!