Homer: Now to save on calories, I won't eat the paper in the fortune cookie.
Homer: Now I'm going to visit the only court I can never be in contempt to of - food court.
Treadmill Salesman: You look like you're close to death.
Homer: Closer than you think.
Bart: Listen, lady! You do not two-time the man with the skull t-shirt.
Shauna: Jimbo doesn't care about me. He didn't even notice my side braid.
Bart: Oh! That is cool. Looks like two snakes trying to kill each other.
Shauna: That's what I was going for. For a second grader, you're pretty sharp.
Bart: I'm actually in fourth grade, but I read at a second grade level. They think I might have a problem.
Homer: She walked away, and she slammed the door. What does it mean?
Marge: It means that I'm mad!
Homer: That is such a first take answer!
Shauna: That's my boyfriend. He's a total wad. Bart is not a wad. He's a dink in the way to becoming a dork.
Lisa: Hear, hear.
Shauna: I want to discover who I really am, and that is something only an inappropriately older man can give me.
Bart: That is one lucky creepy guy.
Bart: [Jimbo holds him by the ankles] It's okay, dad. He's just putting the fear of God in me.
Homer: Okay, but if this house starts a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'!
Jimbo: You have a nice evening, sir.
Marge: Why if it isn't, Jimbo, Dorf, and Earney.
[The Bullies laugh]
Shauna: You've just got in a flame war...with a teenage girl!
Comic Book Guy: Oh, flame on! (He loses the flame war) Oh, you have cloven me from my ponytail to my slipper shoe! Get out and never return! Unless you want to buy old Archie comics, 20 pound bricks are a dollar. (He notices that Bart and Shauna have left his store.)