The Land of Chocolate (The Simpsons Game)
Bartman Begins
Around the World in 80 Bites


  • We need to call in some back-up. It's a fat guy and a little kid.
  • Let me show you to the exit!
  • You want some of this, pally?
  • Don't worry, they love fat guys and little kids in jail.
  • You messed with the wrong pally, boy-o!
  • You didn't make a suggested donation!
  • Let me introduce you to my nightstick!
  • Oh, you offended my sensibility!
  • We can do the hard way or the harder way!

Sideshow Mel

  • Look! A rogue buffoon and his delinquent son!

Homer Simpson

Around certain parts of the level

  • Is it amazing that we evolve from all of this stuff?
  • Finding this cave was a life-changing experience. Or did Moe find it? Oh, who cares. Stupid cave!
  • Now where did I put that gun?
  • Bart, it's not polite to walk on the walls. You'll get them all fingerprint-y.
  • You did it boy! You saved me.... after leaving me behind to rot..... WHY YOU LITTLE!
  • Wow, so this is the future!
  • [on a pressure pad] What the heck?!
  • [on a pressure pad] If I step on these things, I go down. I'm a freakin' genius!
  • Ooh, a temple! I hope there's latkes.
  • Gee, I wonder who invented this place. Probably Einstein.
  • You know, despite the human sacrifices, these Aztecs were okay.
  • Don't mind if I do!
  • Heheheh. Boobs!
  • Oh, why does Bart always get the sexy platforms?
  • I'm gonna hold my breath, you count! Along with that.
  • Can you see where I keep the beer from up there?
  • Bart, I'm bored! Entertain me. Please!

Attacking enemies

  • "Oh no! The pretend police are mad!"
  • You're supposed to guard, not taunt!
  • I thought you guys were supposed to be courteous.
  • Our mission is to stop the bully, oh but I do love beating guards!
  • Nice one, guard tard!
  • Hahaha! Funny man go boom!
  • Wish I could lie down!
  • That's how I roll!
  • Now who stinks?
  • They may become deadly fighting machines so fast!
  • That's my boy!
  • They become deadly fighting machines so fast....
  • Way to give them guff!
  • Aw, I had twenty bucks on the guard.
  • That's a good, healthy hatred of authority.
  • Wish my dad had taken me brawling.
  • (laughs) I heard the funny man.
  • (whispering) I think he's dead...

Bart Simpson

Around certain parts of the level

  • Whoa, this room would be a great place for a skate park!
  • Cool! I'm looking around in cave just like the real Batman, I mean Bartman. I hope DC didn't hear that.
  • Today I am a man.
  • Just thought I'd drop in.
  • It would be embarrassing if I was thwarted by this glass.
  • The only thing standing between us is this glass.
  • Hey Homer I need a fat ass of our fat ball.
  • Homer! Come here, I need your obesity!

Attacking enemies

  • My superpowers are no match for your flashlight!
  • Technically, they're on our side but let's get 'em anyway!
  • Sorry, did I wake you?
  • I learnt better taunts than Ralph.
  • Ha! Next time, you'll think twice about doing your job!
  • Oh geez! I hope he has health insurance!
  • Good idea, you guard the floor.
  • Sleep well, sweet idiot!
  • I am the greatest!
  • SCUM!
  • Don't take anything you can't take back.
  • You're a disgrace to the plastic badge!
  • If a uniform makes a man, you're a pretty crappy man.
  • Good use of violence, Dad!
  • Nicely done Dad!
  • Hope the security cameras didn't see that Dad!
  • Way to throw your weight around, Homer!
  • I told Mom you were a complete loser.


  • I hope karma doesn't see this.
  • Wanna piece of me?
  • My superpower is anger.
  • Look at me! I'm Walker, Texas Ranger!
  • The bully has become the nerd!
  • Careful. I have a child to care for.
  • No fair!

Planetorium Curator

  • The sun is a mass of incandescant gas. A giant nuclear furnace.
  • The Earth is covered by three quarters of water. The water of life.
  • Mercury was named after the Roman god Mercury, a winged messenger.
  • The thick clouds that cover Venus create a greenhouse effect. That keeps it in a toasty 8640 degrees fahrenheit.
  • The asteroid belt separates the four inner planets from the five outer planets. My belt separates my gut from my junk.
  • Saturn's seven rings are made of billions of ice particles. Just like the heart of my ex-wife.
  • Constant storms rage on the surfaces of Neptune. Who'd I screw to get a cup of coffee around here? I've recorded this stuff for hours, yeesh!
  • Pluto is not yet studied closely by a space program 'cause it's bo-ring.
  • How often are you supposed to wash your hair? It's bad if you do it everyday, right?
  • In college, I ate another guy's barf to get into a fraternity.
  • Armageddon: best second act in movie history.
  • What's with Flava Flav and the clock?
  • Funny story: I killed the guy who's supposed to make me read the stuff about the planets.
Jimbo Jones: Remember, people, we came to this museum to steal, not learn. Don't look at any of the displays, stay focused!
Homer Simpson: [when Bart steps on another platform, which turns out to be breasts of the woman statue] Heheheh, boobs!
Bart SimpsonToday, I am a man.

The Simpsons Game
Levels The Land of ChocolateBartman BeginsAround the World in 80 BitesLisa the Tree HuggerMob RulesEnter the CheatrixThe Day of the DolphinShadow of the Colossal DonutInvasion of the Yokel-SnatchersBargain BinNeverQuestGrand Theft ScratchyMedal of HomerBig Super Happy Fun Fun GameFive Characters in Search of an AuthorGame Over
Characters HomerBartLisaMargeMaggieEnemiesWhite Chocolate RabbitWill WrightMatt GroeningGodAbraham Simpson
Powers Homer BallHeli-HomerGumi-HomerBartmanHand of BuddhaMarge's Megaphone