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Bart to the Future/Quotes

< Bart to the Future

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Episode
References
Gags
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Quotes
Credits
Pygmoelian
Bart to the Future
Days of Wine and D'oh'ses
Marge: I'm not sure mosquito season is the best time to visit Larva Lake.

Kent Brockman: According to the latest polls, Americans have emphatically said, "Smell you later," to President Simpson's refund adjustment.

Marge: Shouldn't we wait for Lisa? She IS the President.
Homer: She knows what time dinner is.

Flanders: Hi Bart. How much this time?
Bart: Dude, you got me all wrong.
Flanders: Oh, really? Well, just answer me this. Are you holding your moochin' sack?
Bart: [holding a little sack] My little one...

President Lisa: Oh, Bart could screw everything up.
Secret Service Agent Kearney: You want him…
Lisa: No, just keep him out of my hair.
Kearney: Out of your hair…with extreme severity?
Lisa: No!
Kearney: Come on, every president gets three secret murders. If you don't use them by the end of the term, then pfft, they're gone.

Lisa: My Administration will focus on the three R's. Reading, writing, and refilling the ocean.

(Bart and Ralph are locked out and evicted.)
Bart: Ohh, I had half a beer in there! And "Bewitched" is on!

Bart: I can't believe "Smell you later" replaced good-bye.

Indian Casino Owner: If you want to see your future, throw a prized item into the fire. [Bart throws something in the fire and it pops] Not a firecracker!
Bart: Hey, I bought it off an Indian on your reservation.
Indian Casino Owner: That's crazy talk!
Bart: No, it's true.
Indian Casino Owner: No, that's my brother, Crazy Talk. We're all a little worried about him.

Homer: Gold bars found by Marge: zero. Gold bars found by Homer: We'll find out. [hits through the ceiling of Lisa's office]
Lisa: Dad?!
Marge: Gold bars found by Homer...
Homer: Shut up.

Bart: What happened to you man, you used to be cool.
Homer: I'm still cool!
Bart: Nah! You've changed, man.
Homer: Well, I do have this robotic prostate, but you can't see it! Oh, you can.

Chinese Guy: You pay now! Now!
Bart: What happened to you, China? You used to be cool.
Chinese Guy: Hey, China's still cool! You pay later! Later!

Homer: What a bleak and horrible future we live in!
Bart: Don't you mean "present"?
Homer: Right, right. Present.

Bart: [to Lisa] I figured I could be your, like, co-president.
Lisa: Co-president? Are you crazy?
Bart: Mom, Lisa won't share!
Marge: Be nice to your brother, Lisa.

Ralph: Smell ya later, Bart. Smell ya later forever.

Lisa: As you know, we've inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump. How bad is it, Secretary Van Houten?
Milhouse: [shows a chart] We're broke.
Lisa: The country is broke? How can that be?
Milhouse: Well, remember when the last administration decided to invest in our nation's children? Big mistake.
President Lisa's Aide: The balanced breakfast program just created a generation of ultra-strong super-criminals.
Milhouse: And midnight basketball taught them to function without sleep.

Marge: So what did everyone do today?
Lisa: Appointed a Supreme Court justice.
Marge: Oh.
Bart: "Bewitched" marathon.
Marge: Hmm.
Homer: Searched for Lincoln's gold.
Lisa: Dad, that's just a myth. Lincoln didn't hide any gold in the White House.
Homer: Then what is his ghost protecting?

Lisa: If I'm going to bail the country out, I'll have to raise taxes, but in my speech I'd like to avoid calling it a "painful emergency tax."
Milhouse: What about, "colossal salary grab."
Lisa: See, that has the same problem. We need to soften the blow.
Milhouse: Well, if you just want to out-and-out lie ...Okay, we could call it a, "temporary refund adjustment."
Lisa: I love it.
Milhouse: Really? What else do you love, Lisa?
Lisa: Fiscal solvency.
Milhouse: [disappointedly] Oh. Yeah, me too.

Lisa: You know something, Bart, you're right. My lack of coolness is really holding America back.
Bart: Thank you. Down low! [extends his hand, but retracts it when Lisa tries to slap it] Too slow!
Lisa: [laughs weakly] You're too much, Bart. That's why I'm appointing you, "Secretary of Keeping It Real."
Bart: Wow? You're really asking for my help?
Lisa: Absolutely. I want you and your pals to go away to Camp David and write up a report on coolness.[escorts Bart to the door]
Bart: Well, if my country needs me ... can we skinny dip?
Lisa: At Camp David? Sure. They couldn't keep pants on Kissinger.

[When Homer is digging for Lincoln's Gold in the White House lawn and finds something]
Homer: [hauls a chest from one of the holes] Marge, I did it! I found Lincoln's gold! [opens up the chest and finds a piece of paper] Huh?
Marge: [picks up the paper and reads it] Dear Countryman. You've come in search of my gold, and I will not disappoint you.
Homer: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
Marge: My gold is in the heart of every freedom-loving American.
Homer: Aw, crap!
Marge: It's in our mighty rivers, our majestic... well, isn't that clever? It's a metaphor.
Homer: [pounds the ground with his shovel] That lying, rail-splitting, theater-going freak!

Lisa: [to Bart] There you are! Come on, we have to go. Dad pushed a waitress and Mom lost $20 thousand dollars.
Bart: You're not going to believe it, Lis. This cool Indian guy showed me our future.
Lisa: Really? Anything good?
Bart: I'll say! I've got my own band, and a moped.
Lisa: What about me?
Bart: Eh, some government job.

Bart: [during "Gracie Films" jingle] Moochie, moochie!


Season 10 Season 11 Quotes Season 12
Beyond BlunderdomeBrother's Little HelperGuess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?Treehouse of Horror XE-I-E-I-D'ohHello Gutter, Hello FadderEight Misbehavin'Take My Wife, SleazeGrift of the MagiLittle Big MomFaith OffThe Mansion FamilySaddlesore GalacticaAlone Again, Natura-DiddilyMissionary: ImpossiblePygmoelianBart to the FutureDays of Wine and D'oh'sesKill the Alligator and RunLast Tap Dance in SpringfieldIt's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad MargeBehind the Laughter

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