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Bart the Daredevil |
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- [Simpson family goes home while Bart falls asleep in the backseat. Impressed by the Lance Murdock show, Bart imagines himself jumping over a pool full of dangerous creatures.]
- Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the 10-year old with an attitude! When he is not in class, he is risking his ass; Bart Simpson!
- [Bart jumps over pool. Audience cheers]
- Audience: [in unison] BART! BART! BART!...
- [Dream fades to reality in Simpsons car]
- Homer: ...Bart? We're home now.
- [Bart wakes up]
- Bart: Dad, I want to be a daredevil.
- Homer: [laughing dismissively to himself] Kids say the dumbest things.
- Principal Skinner: Tonight, Sherbert's... Schubert's Unfinished Symphony.
- Homer: Good, unfinished. This shouldn't take long.
- Lisa: Wow, a woman mud pool driver! Another barrier broken! Right on, sister!
- Bart: Dad, I want to be a daredevil.
- Homer: [chuckles] Kids say such stupid things.
- [Homer is jumping the gorge on Bart's skateboard]
- Homer: I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it! This is the greatest thrill of my life! I'm king of the world! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! I -- [screams and grunts as he falls down the gorge]
- Bart: It's an honor lance, how are you feeling?
- Lance Murdock: (tries to put thumb up and hears a snap) Ow! Doc, I heard a snap!
- Dr. Hibbert: Hmmm. I'm afraid the bone is broken. Well, that's all of them!
- Lance: Don't worry partner, I've ruined that thumb dozens of times. Hey, I'd bet you like an autograph nurse, (pen in mouth)
- Lance (with pen in his mouth): Who should I make this out to?
- Bart: Just Bart would be fine sir.
- Lance (with pen in his mouth): To, Bart. Thanks for visiting me, at Springfield General Hospital. Your visit was ray of sunshine, on an otherwise cloudy day. Your pal, Captain Lance Murdock.
- Bart: Wow, man! (scribbled autograph) Thanks, Lance!
- Lance (with pen in his mouth): You're welcome son, nurse, take this out of my mouth now!
- Lisa: Mr. Murdock, my brother is thinking of jumping Springfield Gorge on a skateboard.
- Lance: Could you leave me with the young age, please?
- (The doctor and nurse walk away)
- Lance: Now let me start by saying, good for you, son! It's always good to see young people taking an interest in danger. Now a lot of people are going to be telling you you're crazy, and maybe they're right. But the fact that the matter is, bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor to daredevil ratios in the world!
- Lisa: But Captain Murdock!
- Bart: Thanks Lance!
- Lance: You're welcome little partner! On your way out, tell the nurse I'm ready for my sponge bath, another fringe benefit! Nurse, (pen in mouth).
- Dr. Hibbert: These children have been hurt doing stunts they saw on television, movies and the legitimate stage. This little boy broke his leg trying to fly like Superman. His brother hit him with a wrench, mimicking a TV wrestling match. I won't show the horrors of our Three Stooges ward.
- Marge: I didn't know TV was a dangerous influence.
- Dr. Hibbert: It's tragic, but it's a small price to pay for top-notch entertainment!
- Homer: Amen!
- [Homer is in the hospital next to Lance Murdock]
- Homer: You think you got guts? Try raising my kids.
- Otto: You know Bart, as the only adult here, I feel like I should say something.
- Bart: What?
- Otto: Cool!
| ā Season 1 | Season 2 Quotes | Season 3 āŗ |
|---|---|---|
| Bart Gets an "F" ā¢ Simpson and Delilah ā¢ Treehouse of Horror (aka "The Simpsons Halloween Special") ā¢ Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish ā¢ Dancin' Homer ā¢ Dead Putting Society ā¢ Bart vs. Thanksgiving ā¢ Bart the Daredevil ā¢ Itchy & Scratchy & Marge ā¢ Bart Gets Hit by a Car ā¢ One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish ā¢ The Way We Was ā¢ Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment ā¢ Principal Charming ā¢ Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? ā¢ Bart's Dog Gets an F ā¢ Old Money ā¢ Brush with Greatness ā¢ Lisa's Substitute ā¢ The War of the Simpsons ā¢ Three Men and a Comic Book ā¢ Blood Feud | ||