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Bart Gets Hit by a Car/Quotes

< Bart Gets Hit by a Car

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Itchy & Scratchy & Marge
Bart Gets Hit by a Car
One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish
Smithers checks on Bart after Mr. Burns hit him with his car.
Smithers: Uh-oh. I, uh—I think the boy's hurt.
Mr. Burns: Oh, for crying out loud! Just give him a nickel, and let's get going.

Homer's Brain: A million dollars. My wife cost me a million dollars.
Marge: Homer, would you like some more macaroni and cheese?
Homer's Brain: Yeah, a million dollars worth, you treacherous snake woman.
Homer: No, thank you.
Marge: Some string beans?
Homer's Brain: No, I don't want any string beans either, you two-timing, backstabbing—Uh-oh. Better answer.
Homer: No, thank you.
Marge: Some celery with cream cheese on it?
Homer's Brain: Just mouth polite nothings.
Homer: No, thank you.

Homer and Marge make up at Moe's bar. Last lines of episode.
Moe: Okay, everybody, for the next 15 minutes, one-third off on every pitcher!
Barflies cheer and start making large orders.
Moe: Hey, one per customer. Domestic beer only. Hey, no sharing!

Marge: (on Dr. Nick Riviera) Hmm, well, to be honest, he seemed a lot more concerned about wrapping Bart in bandages than in making him feel better. And he mispronounced words that even I know, like abdomen... and his office was dirty. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if he was even a doctor!
Homer: D'oh!
Lawyer: Mrs. Simpson, could you describe to us in your own words, Bart's immediate, mental anguish.
Marge: Well, I don't know how intense it was. Well, I guess he missed three days of school, though he doesn't like school all that much. So that may not count as anguish. But it was a little hard on me having him around the house all that time.
Lawyer: Could you put a dollar amount on these hardships?
Marge: Well we pay Bart $5 a week to take out the trash. I suppose if he have been able to do it that way, we might have given him the $5.
Lawyer: $5?! But your lawyer, assuming he is a lawyer is asking for a million. Well we can't blame them for trying now can we. (laughs) Thank you very much, Mrs. Simpson.

Dr. Nick: Stop, you're embarrassing me.

Season 1 Season 2 Quotes Season 3
Bart Gets an "F"Simpson and DelilahTreehouse of Horror (aka "The Simpsons Halloween Special") • Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every FishDancin' HomerDead Putting SocietyBart vs. ThanksgivingBart the DaredevilItchy & Scratchy & MargeBart Gets Hit by a CarOne Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue FishThe Way We WasHomer vs. Lisa and the 8th CommandmentPrincipal CharmingOh Brother, Where Art Thou?Bart's Dog Gets an FOld MoneyBrush with GreatnessLisa's SubstituteThe War of the SimpsonsThree Men and a Comic BookBlood Feud

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