Bart's prank calls occur when Bart Simpson makes a prank phone call to someone. Occasionally other people are involved as well.
Moe is the frequent target of Bart's prank phone calls. Usually Bart calls Moe's Tavern and asks for an individual by his or her name. Unbeknownst to Moe, the name is a pun or double entendre, which Bart hides by saying the last name first when he tells Moe who he's calling for. The joke is revealed when Moe calls the person's name aloud, saying their first name (or initials) first, and the last name last. Curiously, Moe has heard Bart's voice several times and has of yet not been able to identify the voice when it calls him. That said, Bart has been known to alter his voice, or it could be phone static.
Sometimes Bart plays the pranks by methods other than over the phone, but the general idea is the same.
|New Kid on the Block||Amanda Hugginkiss||A man to hug and kiss||"Why you little! If I ever find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your bum!"||
Bart played the prank in order to ruin Jimbo Jones's date with Laura Powers. Bart then told Moe Jimbo's name and address, and Moe ran to the house and burst in brandishing a knife, effectively ending the date; In a documentary of the Simpsons voices, Nancy Cartwright made a prank call to Hank Azaria looking for "Amanda Kissandhug"(A man to kiss and hug).
|New Kid on the Block||Ivana Tinkle||I wanna tinkle||Why! When i find out who you are i...I...I... (Caller hangs up)||Laura Powers actually made this prank call, with help from Bart.|
|Flaming Moe's||Hugh Jass||Huge ass||Backfired, because there really was a person in the bar named Hugh Jass.|
|The PTA Disbands||Anita Bath||I need a bath||Roll-call prank. Moe was substitute-teaching in Bart's class. Bart added the prank names to the list of students in the class, and when Moe called the roll, the effect was the same as when he calls out the names in the bar.|
|The PTA Disbands||Maya Buttreeks||My butt reeks||"Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, Kids? Well, children, I can't help that!"||Another roll-call prank, as above.|
|Homer's Odyssey||I.P. Freely||I pee freely||
"Wait a second! You Listen to me, you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm going to slice your heart in half!"
|This prank was later reused by drunken fraternity boys in a prank call to Kent Brockman about a fight in Springfield involving a giant lizard. Brockman didn't realize he'd been had until he said the caller's name on the air. Also, the show's first prank call.|
|Moaning Lisa||Jacques Strap||Jockstrap||"Oh wait a second! Jacques Stra... It's you, isn't it, you cowardly little runt?! When I get a hold of you, I am going to gut you like a fish and drink your blood!"||Bart made this prank call trying to cheer up Lisa|
|Homer the Smithers||Waylon Smithers||N/A||"You Listen to me you, when I catch you, I'm going to pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you, okay?! Then I'm going to use your tongue to paint my boat!"||Not an actual prank call, but Mr. Burns called Moe's Tavern when, after a traumatizing experience of Homer lashing out from Mr. Burns' abuse resulting in him seriously injuring him by punching him in the eye, attempting to call Smithers (by dialing the letters of his last name), and requested for Waylon Smithers. Moe thought it was another one of Bart's pranks, and instead of asking his clients, he ends up chewing out Mr. Burns instead.|
|Some Enchanted Evening||Al Coholic||Alcoholic||"Wait a second! Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'll kill you!"||Bart made a prank call to Moe asking for "Al Coholic" as in alcoholic.|
|Some Enchanted Evening||Oliver Klozoff||All of her clothes off||"Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!"||In this prank call, Moe's face isn't seen. Later, Marge answers the phone and Moe's voice is heard.|
|One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish||Seymour Butz||See more butts||"Wait a second! You Listen to me, you little scum sucking pus bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm going to pull out your eyeballs with a cork screw!"||"Seymour" and "Butz" are real names.|
|Principal Charming||Homer (Stops) Sexual||Homosexual||"Oh no! You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!"||Bart played this prank when he was in Principal Skinner's office and was supposed to call Homer. When Homer misunderstood the situation, he suspected that Skinner was gay. In addition, between Bart's name request and Moe's threat, Bart supplied Skinner with the phone, causing the latter to hear Moe's threat and in addition to informing Moe that he was actually trying to address Homer Simpson also told him off.|
|Blood Feud||Mike Rotch||My Crotch||"Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!"||The only prank phone call to be removed when the episode was edited for syndication on Fox. However the clip wasn't edited out for syndication when used in the episode Another Simpsons Clip Show. Later referenced again when Moe testified against Bart in Dark Knight Court. Notably, a clip of this prank call was sampled for Weird Al's song "Phony Calls," itself a parody of TLC's "Waterfalls."|
|Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk||Bea O'Problem||B. O. Problem||"Oh it's you isn't it?! Listen you, when I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!"||In this context, "B.O." is short for "body odor."; After this prank call, Bart went to Moe's Tavern to bring Homer back, Moe recognized him, but he wasn't angry because he saw no Bart in years.|
|Helter Shelter||Haywood U. Cuddleme||Hey, would you cuddle me?||"Oh, do, that little, ooh...[to telegraph] I'm gonna drive a golden spike where your Union meets your Central Pacific, stop!"||The Simpsons were in a reality show where they were living with 19th-century technology, so Bart played the prank via telegraph (sending it in Morse code).|
|Treehouse of Horror II||I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.||N/A||"Oh...Wait a minute!"||This prank took place during a Treehouse of Horror story where Bart had vast mind powers and could make everyone do whatever he wanted — including, in Moe's case, going along with a blindingly obvious prank call.|
|Bart on the Road||Eura Snotball||You're a Snotball||"What?! How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag on your butt, and mail you to Iran!"||Homer actually attempted this prank in the game "True or Consequence, but it backfired when Moe repeated the name while he was still on the phone.|
|Homer the Moe||Ollie Tabooger||I'll eat a Booger||NEVEEEER!!!!||Moe was away and Homer was tending the bar. Bart tried to prank Homer with this call. It backfired, however, when Homer immediately recognized the call as a prank and didn't understand what he was supposed to do.|
|24 Minutes||Ahmed Adoudi||I made a doodie||"Goddamn it!"||Jack Bauer was the victim of this prank.|
|Lost Verizon||Maya Normousbutt||My Enormous Butt||Bart played this prank while calling Hawaii on a stolen cell phone.|
|Lost Verizon||Drew P. Wiener||Droopy Weiner||Bart played this prank while calling Australia on a stolen cell phone.|
|Lost Verizon||Olav Myfriendsaregay||All of my friends are gay||"Wait a second... If I ever get a hold of you... I will thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavor."||Bart played this prank while calling Sweden on a stolen cell phone. Also the only one of the three to have the bartender actually supply a threat in response.|
|Donnie Fatso||Yuri Nator||Urinator||"Why you... I'm going to chop you into little pieces and make you into a Rubik’s Cube which I would never solve!"||
Technically not a prank call, but Fat Tony called Moe's Tavern by mistake and asked for Yuri Nator, a kingpin of the Russian Mafia, and it resulted in the usual pattern.
|Love is a Many Strangled Thing||I.M.A. Weiner||I am a weiner||"When I get a hold of you, I... Oh, goddamn it, I typed an F and not a D...
eh, delete, delete, delete, delete... Oh, crap! I just donated $20 to Haiti!"
Bart sent a text message to Moe's Tavern while he was supposed to cut down a noose choking Homer at Therapy; At the end of the Simpsons Movie, Bart made this prank call to Russ Cargill.
|Fan-Tasty Island||Lee V. Mediately||Leave immediately||
Bart called the Tavern while on a plane to the island that held a chemical named DT-36 that Homer was to smuggle into the United States for Mr. Burns without knowing
|Whiskey Business||Moe Ron||Moron||"It's you again, you little puke! When I get a hold of you, I'm going to put a rope around your neck an-- (Moe kicks the chair out from under him and hangs himself. However, the wooden beam breaks, and Moe is still alive.)||Bart made this prank call as Moe was about to hang himself. This call backfired when Moe repeated the name into the phone.|
|The Simpsons Guy||Lee Keybum||Leaky Bum||Bart made this prank call with Stewie Griffin.|
When Moe realizes that it's actually a prank, he gets mad and gives the caller threats like:
- "It's you, isn't it, you cowardly little runt. When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!"
- "I'll shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"
- "Listen to me, you, when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you, okay?! Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"
- "When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!"
- "Listen to me, you little scum sucking pus bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyeballs with a cork screw!"
- "You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!"
- "Why you... I'm gonna chop you into little pieces and make you into a Rubik’s Cube which I would never solve!"
On one occasion, Bart played a phone prank from his house, and right after Moe realized the call was a prank, Marge happened to pick up the phone and got an earful of Moe's threat. Bewildered by the harsh language that came over the phone as soon as she picked up the handset, Marge concluded that it must have been a crossed line.
Sometimes, Bart passes the phone to someone when Moe realizes that he has been tricked and they get an earful of Moe's threat. This happened in "Principal Charming".
Homer attempted to phone-prank Moe and it backfired, due to Moe repeating the name ("Eura Snotball") back to Homer. Homer, in typical fashion, interpreted it as an insult and threatened Moe: "If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag on your butt, and mail you to Iran!"
Another time when Bart had just finished a prank call, Marge told him to go to Moe's and pick up Homer. Moe didn't recognize Bart as the phone prankster, but he did think that Bart's voice sounded familiar.
Bart once managed to take advantage of Moe's constant threats to ruin Jimbo's date with Laura, by addressing himself as Jimbo Jones and giving the Simpson Address after making the prank call. Moe easily fell for it, thinking that the kid fessed up, and then took out a knife (which was rusted and dull, which was perfect for him, implying that he only intended to scare the prank caller and not actually hurt/kill the prank caller), and then arrived at the Simpson residence easily scaring Jimbo and causing Laura to break up with him.
The Swedish barkeep, after learning that Bart prank called him, said in an ominous tone, "Wait a minute... If I ever get a hold of you... I will thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavor."
When Marge was a teenager, she called Moe asking for Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabaar, the name Homer used to laugh at. Moe turned to the camera and said, "And that's the origin of that." His aftermath was "I will rip out your intestines and use them to make a lanyard!"
It was also implied that Moe unknowingly threatened Fat Tony after he called for a Yuri Nator, a person he was legitimately trying to contact (Yuri Nator was the name of a Russian business partner of Fat Tony's).