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Army Colonel

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The title of this article is a conjectural. Though the topic is found within The Simpsons universe, a proper name is not available.

The Army Colonel was a colonel in the army that commanded many Springfieldians.


Homer, when under his command, infuriated him and Homer, along with others including Cletus, were deemed too stupid and so were hunted down in a war game in Springfield with the intention of killing them. They evaded capture, which made him even more cross. He then organized an invasion of Springfield to track them down. Although he ended up succeeding in capturing most of his unit (by paying off the man hiding them, Moe Szyslak), he still hadn't captured Homer, and even sending a UAV helicopter didn't work. Due to his actions (such as rounding up everyone who is fat, balding or was ever amused by the antics of Homer Simpson, and placing Springfield under Martial law) his army made the townspeople angry too. While Homer was in hiding at the Springfield Retirement Castle, the people of Springfield came up with a plan to put alcohol in the water supply and get the army drunk. The colonel then surrendered due to having a terrible hangover. He also begged Homer to use the blowhorn on him when Lisa tried to lecture him on how occupying a foreign nation won't work.

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