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- Cletus: We always figured someday Mary would marry. That's why we called her "Mary." We name all our kids after what we thinks gonna happen to 'em. Ain't that right, Stabbed In Jail?
- Stabbed In Jail: (whittling a stick) We'll see who stabs who.
- Bart: (to Lou) I don't care how much of a pumped-up freak you are. I still love you. The way Barry Bonds' kids probably still love him.
- (Bart introduces himself to Mary.)
- Bart: I'm Bart. This is my calf, Lulubelle.
- Mary: Uh, you know that's a boy, right?
- Bart: Oh, I thought she was peein' out of her nipple.
- (Homer is in the slaughterhouse.)
- Female PA Voice: You are now entering the killing floor.
- Homer: Hey, that sounds like Tress MacNeille!
- Bart: (to Mary) I didn't know Cletus was your dad!
- Cletus: She had a regular city birth, in a gas station.
- Bart: Sorry, Lise. I can't be a vegetarian. I love the taste of death.
- Bart: Mom, they're gonna kill Lou and make him into food and fringe vests for gay cowboys!
- Bart: Lou. If that plane leaves the ground, and you're not on it, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon. And definitely after they kill you and make you into Sloppy Joe's.
- Homer: D‘oh! I mean M’oo!
- Marge: I have an idea. But it's going to need a lot of sewing!
- Lisa: I'll get your fabrics!
- Homer: And I'll make sure Flanders doesn't bother us.
Homer runs outside where Flanders is clipping his hedges and punches him.
- Flanders:Ow! What was that for?
- Homer: Bart's in trouble and we don't need your stupid comments.
- Flanders: Zippin' it up!