Ron Robinowitz: Krusty, I've been your agent for 37 years and I'm telling you, watch out for this Lisa Simpson character. She's got a taste for Lady Laughter, and she'll step right over a certain clown to get it.
Krusty the Clown: Which one? Chuckles? Professor Nitwit?
Ron Robinowitz: [facepalm] No, you!
Krusty the Clown: No Yu?! The Chinese Clown?
Ron Robinowitz: [laughs] That's actually really funny! But seriously, you're in big trouble here.
[Bart and Homer are looking though a large pile of coins for the "Kissing Lincolns Penny"]
Bart: One of these has got to be that smooching Lincoln penny. Nope. Nope. Dime. Button. Pepperoni slice.
Homer: (grabbing pepperoni slice) Wait! This is a classic 1978 Pizza Hut! (eats it) Mmm...terrible.
[At an auction for a "Kissing Lincolns Penny"]
Homer: Five dollars!
Mr. Burns: Five hundred.
Homer: Five dollars, cash.
Host: Sir, the promise of cash is not an endorsement. The current bid is $500. Going once, going twice--
Homer: Five hundred-one!
Mr. Burns: Ten million.
Homer: Objection, Your Honor!
[at one of the Krusty's shows]
Krusty: [sings a little song] Here I am, walking on the plank! I wish this mean pirate wasn't poking me with a sword! [Wispering to Lisa and Sideshow Mel] Where's the chimp?
Sideshow Mel: [Whispering] Mr. Tenny's not here. He's stuck on traffic!
Krusty: Oh, what do I do? I can't ad lib to save my life. [Heavily breathing] Oh boy, Oh boy!
Lisa: [Singing and dressed as a pirate] Yo ho ho and a bottle of fun!
Krusty: [whispering] What are you doing, kid?
Lisa: [whispering] My job, making it look good!
Krusty: Oh yeah, right, yeah! [turns around facing Lisa] So, So, what be your name, matey?
Lisa: Long John Seltzer! [She splashes water in Krusty's face, making him fall into a little pool. the kids laugh]