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500 Keys |
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- Bart: Time is get my mischief on. (Bart holds a key belonging to U.S. Mail.) Let's starts with a little federal crime.
- (Bart opens a mail box.)
- Random Guy: Oh man, thank god. I can get back that angry letter I wrote to my boss.
- Random Woman: I really didn't want that subscription to The Atlantic.
- Professor Frink: Yes, and this patent application for a robot dog could use a bit more tinkering. With the biting and chewing on my tuchus. (Robot Dog shoots lasters.) Oh, the laster eyes! Why did I give them to him?
- Bart: What the...? I tried to bad and I did good.
- Lovejoy: Haw-haw!
- Rod: Daddy, did you make that devil's music?
- Ned: It wasn't me, boys. It was the train.
- Todd: What train, Daddy?
- Ned: It-It was right there. With the and the, you know.
- Rod: Jesus cries blood every time you lie.
- Clancy Wiggum: Things on the ground are out of my jurisdiction.
- Chalmers: I oversee fourteen schools and I always find myself at yours discussing a Simpson kid.
- Gil Gunderson: I'm alive and you're my naked fairy god boy!
- Bart: (on a window washing platform) The last place anyone would expect to see a moon - the sky. (drops his shorts to the windows as the platform rises)
- Homer: When we see each other again, you'll be an old man and I'll be a baby!
- Homer: First the good news: two of your kids are not locked in the car.
- Homer: Cake, will you make my stomach the happiest bag of acid in the world?
- Lisa: [gasps] Otto? Are you the one that left the message on the blackboard?
- Otto: Yeah. It was me. I was the bus driver, when those sweet young angles were swallowed up by the river. [sobs, unbuckles the belt to his coat, and walks towards the river] Now I'm gonna join them.
- Lisa: OTTO! They're just mannequins!
- Otto: Then...I'm not responsible for a horrible tragedy! And I didn't do anything wrong by fleeing the scene, and not reporting it, and killing that hobo with the big mouth! [the Simpsons look at him strangely] I might've imagined that last part.
| ā Season 21 | Season 22 Quotes | Season 23 āŗ |
|---|---|---|
| Elementary School Musical ā¢ Loan-a Lisa ā¢ MoneyBART ā¢ Treehouse of Horror XXI ā¢ Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life ā¢ The Fool Monty ā¢ How Munched is That Birdie in the Window? ā¢ The Fight Before Christmas ā¢ Donnie Fatso ā¢ Moms I'd Like to Forget ā¢ Flaming Moe ā¢ Homer the Father ā¢ The Blue and the Gray ā¢ Angry Dad: The Movie ā¢ The Scorpion's Tale ā¢ A Midsummer's Nice Dream ā¢ Love is a Many Strangled Thing ā¢ The Great Simpsina ā¢ The Real Housewives of Fat Tony ā¢ Homer Scissorhands ā¢ 500 Keys ā¢ The Ned-liest Catch | ||