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Stop or My Dog Will Shoot!
24 Minutes
You Kent Always Say What You Want
Principal Skinner: Lord, give me guidance. Yes, the guidance room, the detention center. Thank you, Mrs. Lord.

Bart: Lisa, they're gonna put a stink bomb in the school. I might be able to stop 'em, but I'll need a schematic of Jimbo's house.
Lisa: Jimbo made a couple of drawings of his house in the second grade, but I can't vouch for their accuracy. The teacher gave him a frowny face.

Milhouse: Lisa, if I don't make it, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
Lisa: I've read your letter.
Principal Skinner: We've all read it.

Apu: Oh my God, if a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby, and the baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog!

Marge: If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they would have a tummy full of pocket garbage.

(Marge frees Bart and kisses him)
Marge: Oh, my special little guy! I'm so glad you're okay.
(Homer kisses Bart)
Homer: And I'm so glad you taste like hotdogs!

Homer: (goes out of Kwik-E-Mart) Hey, Milhouse! What are you spying at? Those bullies?

Lisa: I've got something! The sixth grade security camera shows three empty desks.
Principal Skinner: Enhance!
(Camera zooms in on desk with "Skinner Stinks" carved into it)
Principal Skinner: Dehance! Dehance!

Jack Bauer: Previously, on 24... I mean "The Simpsons".

Jack Bauer: The following takes place between 2:34 p.m. and 3:04 p.m. Or maybe it's a.m. Whichever one is the morning one. It's not that one.

Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now.
Bart: What? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer. Who the hell are you?
Bart: Me? I'm... Ahmed Adoudi.
Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoudi. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoudi?
Chloe O'Brian: Ahmed Adoudi, wealthy Saudi financier disappeared to Afghanistan in the late '90s.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack, it's a joke name. You're being set up.
Jack Bauer: Damn it!

[Jack Bauer comes in by dropping in from an air vent]
Jack Bauer: [in megaphone] Good work, Lisa!
Bart: What about me?
Jack Bauer: [points gun at Bart] Bart Simpson, twelve minutes ago, you made an annoying prank phone call to me. All units move in!
[a bunch of units move into the gym and they all point guns at Bart, but Bauer puts his away]
Jack Bauer: I pulled ever single field agent off all other cases to track you down and bring you to justice. It was a tough decision, but I think I made the right call.
[big explosion happens in the distance, and the crowd gasps]
Jack Bauer: It's okay. That was Shelbyville.
[everyone sighs with relief]


Season 17 Season 18 Quotes Season 19
The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her HomerJazzy and the PussycatsPlease Homer, Don't Hammer 'EmTreehouse of Horror XVIIG.I. (Annoyed Grunt)Moe'N'a LisaIce Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair)The Haw-Hawed CoupleKill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2The Wife AquaticRevenge is a Dish Best Served Three TimesLittle Big GirlSpringfield UpYokel ChordsRome-Old and Julie-EhHomerazziMarge GamerThe Boys of BummerCrook and LadderStop or My Dog Will Shoot!24 MinutesYou Kent Always Say What You Want

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